Some Special Music

I've just uploaded a few midis for you to listen to as you visit "The Bootsie Files"....these are songs that are special to me, and that I feel Bootsie steered me towards, since I had never before been a big fan of the artisits who do them. These are only the midis of the original songs. Although I would LOVE to share the mp3's here, I can't due to copyright law.

Place your cursor over the midi you want to hear, right click, and select "open in new window". Then just shrink the new window to the bottom of your screen so you can continue to read these pages.

"You'll Be In My Heart"

Artist: Phil Collins

Come stop your crying, it will be all right

Just take my hand, hold it tight

I will protect you from all around you

I will be here don't you cry

For one so small,you seem so strong

My arms will hold you keep you safe and warm

This bond between us can't be broken

I will be here don't you cry

'Cause you'll be in my heart

Yes, you'll be in my heart

From this day on

Now and forever more

You'll be in my heart

No matter what they say

You'll be here in my heart

Always

Why can't they understand the way we feel

They just don't trust what they can't explain

I know we're different but deep inside us

We're not that different at all

'Cause you'll be in my heart

Yes, you'll be in my heart

From this day on

Now and forever more

Don't listen to them, cause what do they know

We need each other, to have and to hold

They'll see in time, I know

When destiny calls you, you must be strong

I may not be with you, but you gotta hold on

They'll see in time, I know

We'll show them together 'cause...

You'll be in my heart

I believe, you'll be in my heart

I'll be there from this day on

Now and forever more

You'll be in my heart

no matter what they say

you'll be here in my heart always

Always...

I'll be with you

I'll be there for you always

Always and always

Just look over your shoulder

Just look over your shoulder

Just look over your shoulder

I'll be there always

 

 

***********

 

"I'LL STAND BY YOU"

Artist: The Pretenders

Album: Last Of The Independents

 

OH, WHY YOU LOOK SO SAD?

TEARS ARE IN YOUR EYES

COME ON AND COME TO ME NOW

DON'T BE ASHAMED TO CRY

LET ME SEE YOU THROUGH

'CAUSE I'VE SEEN THE DARK SIDE TOO

WHEN THE NIGHT FALLS ON YOU

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

NOTHING YOU CONFESS

COULD MAKE ME LOVE YOU LESS

I'LL STAND BY YOU

I'LL STAND BY YOU

WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU

I'LL STAND BY YOU

SO IF YOU'RE MAD, GET MAD

DON'T HOLD IT ALL INSIDE

COME ON AND TALK TO ME NOW

HEY, WHAT YOU GOT TO HIDE?

I GET ANGRY TOO

WELL I'M A LOT LIKE YOU

WHEN YOU'RE STANDING AT THE CROSSROADS

AND DON'T KNOW WHICH PATH TO CHOOSE

LET ME COME ALONG

'CAUSE EVEN IF YOU'RE WRONG

 

I'LL STAND BY YOU

I'LL STAND BY YOU

WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU

I'LL STAND BY YOU

TAKE ME IN, INTO YOUR DARKEST HOUR

AND I'LL NEVER DESERT YOU

I'LL STAND BY YOU

AND WHEN...

WHEN THE NIGHT FALLS ON YOU, BABY

YOU'RE FEELING ALL ALONE

YOU WON'T BE ON YOUR OWN

I'LL STAND BY YOU

I'LL STAND BY YOU

WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU

I'LL STAND BY YOU

TAKE ME IN, INTO YOUR DARKEST HOUR

AND I'LL NEVER DESERT YOU

I'LL STAND BY YOU

I'LL STAND BY YOU

WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU

I'LL STAND BY YOU

WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU

I'LL STAND BY YOU

 

*************

"Because You Loved Me"

Artist: Celine Dion Lyrics

 

For all those times you stood by me

For all the truth that you made me see

For all the joy you brought to my life

For all the wrong that you made right

For every dream you made come true

For all the love I found in you

I'll be forever thankful baby

You're the one who held me up

Never let me fall

You're the one who saw me through through it all

 

You were my strength when I was weak

You were my voice when I couldn't speak

You were my eyes when I couldn't see

You saw the best there was in me

Lifted me up when I couldn't reach

You gave me faith 'coz you believed

I'm everything I am

Because you loved me

 

You gave me wings and made me fly

You touched my hand I could touch the sky

I lost my faith, you gave it back to me

You said no star was out of reach

You stood by me and I stood tall

I had your love I had it all

I'm grateful for each day you gave me

Maybe I don't know that much

But I know this much is true

I was blessed because I was loved by you

 

You were my strength when I was weak

You were my voice when I couldn't speak

You were my eyes when I couldn't see

You saw the best there was in me

Lifted me up when I couldn't reach

You gave me faith 'coz you believed

I'm everything I am

Because you loved me

 

You were always there for me

The tender wind that carried me

A light in the dark shining your love into my life

You've been my inspiration

Through the lies you were the truth

My world is a better place because of you

 

You were my strength when I was weak

You were my voice when I couldn't speak

You were my eyes when I couldn't see

You saw the best there was in me

Lifted me up when I couldn't reach

You gave me faith 'coz you believed

I'm everything I am

Because you loved me

 

I'm everything I am

Because you loved me

I think tonight I'm going to bed early...I'd wanted to post several different things, but will have to do this a bit later.

I do want to share one thing that means a lot to me.

This is a poem, written by my friend Rose, especially for Bootsie & me.

Thank you, Rose!!

A Message From Bootsie

c

My Mom, she tells a lot of lies
She never did before.
From now until the day she dies.
She'll tell a whole lot more.

She used to tell the truth, a lot
But now it doesn't matter.
I died and went to heaven,
Her life is all a-shatter.

Since I crossed the Rainbow Bridge

She'll say, "Yes, I'm fine!"
She wants to beg "Please help me.
I can't find that girl of mine!"

Ask my Mom, how is she,
And she'll say, "I'm alright."
If that's the truth then tell me,
Why does she cry at night?

You think you know the feeling,
But this I Know can't be.
For even though I'm just a dog

Boundless was her love for me

She will smile and tell you,
I'll get by, I know I can
But she will turn away and cry
'Cause you just won't understand.

I watch from here, in Heaven.
Her distress disturbs my peace.
Will someone please take care of her,
And help her heartache cease.

They say "Some day you'll feel better."
"Yes I will." she lies.
She knows this will not happen,
Until the day she dies.

She said "I was so lucky!
I had her all those years!"
ButThey passed in just a minute,
Now she sheds so many tears

Ask my Mom how is she,
She'll say, "Thank you. Good."
She cannot tell you how she feels.
Oh, how I wish she could.

Ask my Mom how is she,
"I'm well, I'm good. And you?"
I'll shake my head in Heaven.
It simply isn't true.

She'll love me all her life.
I loved her all of mine.
But if you ask how is she,
She'll lie and say she's fine.

I am here in Heaven.
I cannot hug from here.
If she lies to you, don't listen.
Hug her, hold her near.

On the day she gets to Heaven

I'll be here for her to hold

"You're lucky to get in here, Mom,
With all the lies you told!"

Hugz, Rose

 

I love reading Rose's poems. She weaves words into a beautiful tapestry of human emotion, that all who read it can relate to.......Sweet, honest, humble and inspired, Rose's poetry is a feast for the famished soul.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

To read more of Rose's work, please visit her website by clicking this link:

Rosebudz & Rainbows

 

 

I love you always, Bootsie.....love extends all space and time. YOU are STILL and FOREVER my most precious little girl, and I miss you with all my heart.

Love eternal~Your Paula

Time is Relative

Each time I glance at the clock, I can tell you where I was and what I was doing at this time one year ago today.

It's 5:50 pm.

At 5:50 pm, December 9th, 2004,

I was praying.

I prayed for my little girl, that God would grant us the miracle of good news after tomorrow mornings operation. I prayed for the blessing of just a little more time with my baby, Boots. I prayed that He would not call her home just yet.......Not now....Not when I needed her here with me so badly.

I prayed with every ounce of faith I had.

My heart was breaking with the pain of knowing that sometimes prayers seem to go unanswered, and sometimes God's Will is not what we pray it to be.

After awhile, I would get into my car, and drive to the vet clinic.

Bootsie was always sharp as a tack, no pulling any wool over those beautiful big brown eyes of hers. She got wise to the med-laced Gerbers baby food being fed to her by the vets at the clinic, and soon was turning her head slowly away from each spoonful. Boots discouraged any further attempts at this trickery by way of a good nip to the hands of the trickster. That was my baby. While others may have frowned upon her as being ill-behaved, I reveled in the joy of knowing that I had one "take-no-crap" little girl. I loved Bootsie's iron-willed determination, even when it hurt.

I would drive to the clinic twice a day to give Boots her meds. I didn't try to trick her into it.....I did it the way we always had: sandwiched inside a tiny pocket of a folded over Velveeta slice. The techs watched as I proffered the meds and Bootsie willingly swallowed it up, quick as a wink.

It was while Bootsie was at the clinic this last time that I noticed something. One of the vets had mentioned to me at an appointment earlier that year that Bootsie had cataracts in her eyes. He said,

"I bet you've seen her walk into furniture, things like that."

I had not. Bootsie had never exhibited any such difficulty navigating around the house or back yard.

I noticed, though, when I walked into the back room of the clinic where all the patients are resting, that maybe the vet was right. Soon as I opened the door, my eyes would immediately go to Bootsie's compartment. If she were awake, I would say,

"Hi BabyGirl! Hi Bootsiebear! I love you precious one~...."

Bootsie's eyes would widen, her ears would perk up at my voice. She would glance over in my direction with a look of such expectant hope....I saw that she was trying to focus on who she hoped was addressing her.....I had to move several feet closer before she could see that it was, indeed, me. You coulds see the recognition flash brilliantly in her eyes and her whole body would wag with joy and happiness.

On the evening of December the 9th, 2004, I drove to the vet clinic. not sure if I should stay overnight there, or if I should go home. I feared that if I stayed, Bootsie might expend too much energy, energy that I wanted her to reserve for the next mornings surgery and the subsequent post-surgical recovery. My decision to go home would later be one I would regret, and I swim in this regret even now, one year to the day.

Bootsie had not wanted to eat those last couple of days.

But she ate for me, and on this night last year, I held Bootsie upright in my arms in a chair that the techs provided for me back with the patients. I had a big bowl of Bootsie's canned food, and she let me handfeed it to her. She hungrily ate up every last bit of her food, and this made her "mama" so proud......

I wish I had stayed there and never left her side that night. Bootsie would never have left my side. I feel like I failed her. I am so sorry, Bootsie. I was so stupid. I should have stayed. I don't think I really believed it was to be my last chance to spend a night with you. Had I known, I would have stayedBootsie! I would never, ever have left you!

I know,  I know.....you can't go back and re-write the past, and beating yourself up isn't gonna help anything, and Bootsie wouldn't want you to think about those things....

But you can't help it. When something hurts, it hurts.

 

I miss you, Bootsie. I'd give anything I have to have you back with me.