"The Bootsie Files"

I Miss My Bootsie

2009-04-07T13:22:00.000-07:00

Even now...five years after the passing on of my baby, Bootsie....I still grieve for her. Not one single day has gone by that she has not crossed my mind. I've come to accept that it will be this way until the day that I die. I'm ok with that. I refuse to completely "move on". I can't do that. There will forever be that part of me that stubbornly clings to Bootsie's memory.

I used to recieve so many "signs" from Boots. As the days melt into weeks, months, and years....those signs come a little less frequently. I still find flowers blooming in my yard where nothing ever grew before. It just isn't happening with the frequency that it used to. The dreams of Bootsie visiting me have not come in much too long.

Why is that happening? I can only surmise that Bootsie wants me to live in the present, and that in order to make that happen she is pulling back ever so slightly. I know she continues to watch over me constantly...however she is doing so in a much quieter way.

Well Bootsie?
You were never very good at being quiet...and mommy wants you to know that she needs a visit! Bring dad!

I love you, Bootsie.
XOXOX

2008-10-13T22:44:00.000-07:00

I am so thrilled to have been able to transfer "The Bootsie Files" from its former host (AOL) to it's new home here on Blogger!
I cannot even begin to tell you how my heart ached at the thought that I could lose my little Bootsie's journal!
Some of the entries found herein were written with such raw, honest emotion, and I could not let go of that.
It felt like having to let go of my Bootsie just a little more, and I am in no way able to do that.

It's been two years since I last posted an entry....I will try to post an update tomorrow.

Love
Paula

New Website Up...Please Pay A Visit

2006-08-26T10:57:00.000-07:00

Please visit this website:

Mary's Pet Ministry

Things I Miss About My Bootsie

2006-03-17T14:49:00.000-08:00

No matter how much times goes by, my memories of Bootsie remain locked in my heart, never to be diminished by the passing of time.

Here are just a handful of things that I think of....

* The way Bootsie would wake me up each morning. I would awaken with the feeling that I was being "watched". My eyes would open to see a pair of big brown eyes staring at me, only a couple inches from my own. Bootsie would stare at me like this, not moving a muscle. When my eyes would open, the only movement she would make were her eyes would open wider and her little ears would perk up. It wasn't until I said, "G'morning angel bear" that Bootsie would wag her tail with all her might. I would look at her and say, "Awwwww, you're such a sweetie bear, babydoll!" And then Bootsie, as though embarrassed by this flattery, would take her two front paws and cover her face with them, or she would bury her face into my side or under the blanket.

When I sat up from bed, Bootsie would jump to the floor to do her "wiggle worm dance"....she would roll over onto her back and wiggle her body to and fro, trying to catch her tail on the left, then on the right, (with a little growl thrown in for good measure, lol.) She would keep this up as long as you encouraged her, too. She was so gleeful in the mornings!

* When Bootsie wanted my attention, she would growl and bark, and tap her two front paws incessantly on the floor in front of her!

* Bootsie had a knack for knowing when we had arrived at our destination by car. Even at places she had never before been! She would just go crazy, bopping around, barking with joy, but only after we had turned onto the street of our destination.

* Bootsie did "Doggie Calisthenics". She would lay on her back, and I would say, "Bootsie: streeeeeeeeeeeetch".... Boots would stretch out her little back legs just as far as they would go. She would "hold the stretch" until I said, "Bootsie: Relaaaaaaax"..and then those little legs would ease back into a relaxed position!

* Bootsie would have snorting contests with me. I would fake sneeze, and she would fake sneeze back, blowing doggie snot all over me, LOL. I would say, "Awww Bootsie! You SNOTTED ME! EWWW!" This would go on as long as I kept it up! Bootsie was not about to be out-snorted, lol, and she remains the queen of dog snorting to this day!

* I remember how proudly Bootsie would prance about whenever I placed a new scarf around her neck. She had so much pride in her appearance, but not an arrogant bone in her petite body! She especially loved to wear my red chiffon scarf with the tiny white polka dots. (We shared scarves all the time!)

* If I laid on the sofa on my stomach to watch tv in the living room, Bootsie would take a nap....right on my BUTT, lol.

* Whenever I had to leave the house and leave Bootsie behind, she would howl like a wolf until I returned. I never believed this when my mom told me about it, until one day I returned home and heard it for myself: such sweet, mournful howling....so sad.....

* Even if only gone for a moment, Bootsie would act as if I had been gone for years and greet me with furious enthusiasm!

* I remember many times my dad would quietly watch me and Bootsie, sitting together. He's shake his head and smile, and say, "Paula, that little dog LOVES you!"

And I love HER, too! I love you AngelBear.....I can't wait to be with you again!

Much Love 4-Ever and Eternal,

Your Paula

SIDE NOTE:

As I was about to save this entry, my mom walked into the room. She stood here, looking at me as I typed, Coco by my side, and she said,

"That dog turned out so good! She's always by your side, Paula, wherever you are! She just loves you!"

Now that, to me, is another sign from Bootsie. What are the odds that my mom would say that. Thank you, Bootsie, for guiding me to Coco! I love you!

Letter From Your Pet in Heaven

2006-03-03T19:49:00.000-08:00

My friend Billie found this poem, and I wanted to share it with you all...............

Letter From Your Pet In Heaven

To my dearest family,
some things I'd like to say.
But first of all, to let you know,
that I arrived okay.

I'm writing this from the Bridge.
Here I dwell with God above.
Here there's no more tears of sadness.
Here is just eternal love.

Please do not be unhappy
just because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I am with you
every morning, noon and night.

That day I had to leave you
when my life on earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me
and He said, "I welcome you.

It's good to have you back again,
you were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family,
They'll be here later on."

God gave me a list of things,
that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list,
was to watch and care for you.

And when you lie in bed at night
the day's chores put to flight,
God and I are closest to you...
in the middle of the night.

When you think of my life on earth,
and all those loving years,
because you are only human,
they are bound to bring you tears.

But do not be afraid to cry:
it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers,
unless there was some rain.

I wish that I could tell you
all that God has planned.
If I were to tell you,
you wouldn't understand.

But one thing is for certain,
though my life on earth is o'er.
I'm closer to you now,
than I ever was before.

There are rocky roads ahead of you
and many hills to climb;
But together we can do it
by taking one day at a time.

It was always my philosophy
and I'd like it for you too;
That as you give unto the world,
the world will give to you.

If you can help somebody
who's in sorrow and pain;
Then you can say to God at night...
"My day was not in vain."

And now I am contented...
that my life was worthwhile.
Knowing as I passed along
I made somebody smile.

God says: "If you meet somebody
who is sad and feeling low;
Just lend a hand to pick him up,
as on your way you go.

When you're walking down the street
with me on your mind;
I'm walking inyour footsteps
only half a step behind."

"And when it's time for you to go...
from that body to be free.
Remember you're not going...
you're coming here to me."

-Author Unknown.

A Poem: "A Wish"

2006-02-14T17:34:00.000-08:00

This poem was sent to me by a dear friend of mine, Doreen. We aren't sure who the author of this work is, so if anyone knows, please email me so that I may credit them for this most beautiful Poem.
--Paula--

From Doreen:

This poem will go to "The Bootsie Files". There it will be saved and I will read it each time one of my babies passes.

I think Bootsie will be there with all of mine to help them find their way.

Thank you Bootsie for being there for four of my kitties, who have gone since you passed. I know my X mother-in-law was there. Along with her my father and all my grandparents. My father's parents for some reason are the guardians of my babies who wait for me. I never met them. I just know. Love, Doreen

A Wish

When you think of me, master
Know that I’m not the same,
Not the frail, old body
That I too fast became..

Smile back on your mornings
My young paws wet with dew
Think not of the pained version
Of the pup you once knew.

Please remember our good times
Our fond romps in the park
Not the day I lay dying
And my world became dark.

And at times when you’re grieving
In those moments of hurt
Do replace tears with memories
Of when I was alert.

Please remember my soft eyes
And my sweet, loving lick..
Not the hazy, lost moments
After I became sick.

When sad times are upon you
And your tears start to flow
Know I’m not the confused dog
That you grew to know.

Master, when you lie dreaming
Let your dreams be not blue
Dare not dream of the frail dog
Whose earth years seemed so few.

May your dreams paint you rainbows
And bright bridges of gold
And show you, my dear master,
That I’m no longer old.

May your rest bring you wisdom
May you wake without care
Grieving not for my loss but
Knowing I am still there.

I’ll be in puppy kisses
And in walks in the park
And right there beside you
On your bed in the dark.

And those times you are smelling
A sweet, dew-covered rose
Eyes closed, feel the soft brush
Of a little, wet nose.

Whether you are in sunshine
Or alone in the dark
When the gentle wind whispers
You just might hear my bark.

If at times you might feel
Gentle taps on your knee
Please don’t let this alarm you
It’s most probably me.

Though you no longer see me
Nor can you touch my soft hair
In a way that you know not
I will always be there.

Please do know I’ve not left you
We were paired from the start
I will be with you always
Cuddled deep in your heart.

Love spans all horizons so
Let your sad heart not harden
I romp and I’m whole again, In a bright rainbow garden.

One fine day you will join me
We’ll run fast a green field
When you come to the gateway
And, like I, you are healed.

‘Til that joyous reunion
When I lick your sweet face
Know I’m playing in rainbows
And I’m saving your place.

So tonight as you lie back
Settled down in your bed
Know I’m not gone, dear master....
I’ve just gone on ahead.

********************

Please feel free to take one of the above graphics for your webpages, emails, or group sigs. Please link it back to:

http://journals.aol.com/otiamaria/TheBootsieFiles/

so that others may visit this site, also..

Thanks!

Paula

Prayers For Crystal: The Golden Puppy

2006-01-20T01:24:00.000-08:00

Bootsie and Crystal are buddies.

Like many people who become friends online,

those who come together out of a mutual love for their dogs have dogs who are buddies .....at least that's my belief.

Our friend, Billie, has a Sheltie named Crystal. She's such a precious little one!

Crystal is 14.5 years old, and like my Bootsie, she is one tough cookie with a sweet soul. Crystal was born with an abnormally small liver. Billie has always been vigilant about monitoring her liver, and doing everything under the sun to protect Crystal from anything that would further compromise it.

The past couple of months have been particularly hard for Crystal and Billie......Crystal has heart problems and kidney problems, and we have just received confirmation that Crystals kidney issues have progressed to renal failure despite every thing Billie has done to try to reverse the problem. Many people, while their intent has been good, have posted suggestions that they believe will help Crystal, but most fail to realize that any and all treatments performed for Crystal must also bare in mind the liver and heart issues and not pose any complications to THESE organs.

This entry I write tonight is to ask you all to say a prayer for our "golden puppy" (a nickname given Crystal by her vet)..

First and foremost, please pray that God heals this little one.

If this is not His plan for her, please pray that He allow Crystal a peaceful passing while in Billie's arms.....

And please pray for Billie. She loves this little one as if she were her own child, and would move heaven and earth for her,

Thank you to all----I know I can count on your prayers!

Love

Paula

Some Special Music

2005-12-10T17:47:00.000-08:00

I've just uploaded a few midis for you to listen to as you visit "The Bootsie Files"....these are songs that are special to me, and that I feel Bootsie steered me towards, since I had never before been a big fan of the artisits who do them. These are only the midis of the original songs. Although I would LOVE to share the mp3's here, I can't due to copyright law.

Place your cursor over the midi you want to hear, right click, and select "open in new window". Then just shrink the new window to the bottom of your screen so you can continue to read these pages.

"You'll Be In My Heart"

Artist: Phil Collins

Come stop your crying, it will be all right

Just take my hand, hold it tight

I will protect you from all around you

I will be here don't you cry

For one so small,you seem so strong

My arms will hold you keep you safe and warm

This bond between us can't be broken

I will be here don't you cry

'Cause you'll be in my heart

Yes, you'll be in my heart

From this day on

Now and forever more

You'll be in my heart

No matter what they say

You'll be here in my heart

Always

Why can't they understand the way we feel

They just don't trust what they can't explain

I know we're different but deep inside us

We're not that different at all

'Cause you'll be in my heart

Yes, you'll be in my heart

From this day on

Now and forever more

Don't listen to them, cause what do they know

We need each other, to have and to hold

They'll see in time, I know

When destiny calls you, you must be strong

I may not be with you, but you gotta hold on

They'll see in time, I know

We'll show them together 'cause...

You'll be in my heart

I believe, you'll be in my heart

I'll be there from this day on

Now and forever more

You'll be in my heart

no matter what they say

you'll be here in my heart always

Always...

I'll be with you

I'll be there for you always

Always and always

Just look over your shoulder

I'll be there always

***********

"I'LL STAND BY YOU"

Artist: The Pretenders

Album: Last Of The Independents

OH, WHY YOU LOOK SO SAD?

TEARS ARE IN YOUR EYES

COME ON AND COME TO ME NOW

DON'T BE ASHAMED TO CRY

LET ME SEE YOU THROUGH

'CAUSE I'VE SEEN THE DARK SIDE TOO

WHEN THE NIGHT FALLS ON YOU

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

NOTHING YOU CONFESS

COULD MAKE ME LOVE YOU LESS

I'LL STAND BY YOU

WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU

I'LL STAND BY YOU

SO IF YOU'RE MAD, GET MAD

DON'T HOLD IT ALL INSIDE

COME ON AND TALK TO ME NOW

HEY, WHAT YOU GOT TO HIDE?

I GET ANGRY TOO

WELL I'M A LOT LIKE YOU

WHEN YOU'RE STANDING AT THE CROSSROADS

AND DON'T KNOW WHICH PATH TO CHOOSE

LET ME COME ALONG

'CAUSE EVEN IF YOU'RE WRONG

I'LL STAND BY YOU

WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU

I'LL STAND BY YOU

TAKE ME IN, INTO YOUR DARKEST HOUR

AND I'LL NEVER DESERT YOU

I'LL STAND BY YOU

AND WHEN...

WHEN THE NIGHT FALLS ON YOU, BABY

YOU'RE FEELING ALL ALONE

YOU WON'T BE ON YOUR OWN

I'LL STAND BY YOU

WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU

I'LL STAND BY YOU

TAKE ME IN, INTO YOUR DARKEST HOUR

AND I'LL NEVER DESERT YOU

I'LL STAND BY YOU

WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU

I'LL STAND BY YOU

WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU

I'LL STAND BY YOU

*************

"Because You Loved Me"

Artist: Celine Dion Lyrics

For all those times you stood by me

For all the truth that you made me see

For all the joy you brought to my life

For all the wrong that you made right

For every dream you made come true

For all the love I found in you

I'll be forever thankful baby

You're the one who held me up

Never let me fall

You're the one who saw me through through it all

You were my strength when I was weak

You were my voice when I couldn't speak

You were my eyes when I couldn't see

You saw the best there was in me

Lifted me up when I couldn't reach

You gave me faith 'coz you believed

I'm everything I am

Because you loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly

You touched my hand I could touch the sky

I lost my faith, you gave it back to me

You said no star was out of reach

You stood by me and I stood tall

I had your love I had it all

I'm grateful for each day you gave me

Maybe I don't know that much

But I know this much is true

I was blessed because I was loved by you

You were my strength when I was weak

You were my voice when I couldn't speak

You were my eyes when I couldn't see

You saw the best there was in me

Lifted me up when I couldn't reach

You gave me faith 'coz you believed

I'm everything I am

Because you loved me

You were always there for me

The tender wind that carried me

A light in the dark shining your love into my life

You've been my inspiration

Through the lies you were the truth

My world is a better place because of you

You were my strength when I was weak

You were my voice when I couldn't speak

You were my eyes when I couldn't see

You saw the best there was in me

Lifted me up when I couldn't reach

You gave me faith 'coz you believed

I'm everything I am

Because you loved me

I'm everything I am

Because you loved me

2005-12-09T20:52:00.000-08:00

I think tonight I'm going to bed early...I'd wanted to post several different things, but will have to do this a bit later.

I do want to share one thing that means a lot to me.

This is a poem, written by my friend Rose, especially for Bootsie & me.

Thank you, Rose!!

A Message From Bootsie

My Mom, she tells a lot of lies
She never did before.
From now until the day she dies.
She'll tell a whole lot more.

She used to tell the truth, a lot
But now it doesn't matter.
I died and went to heaven,
Her life is all a-shatter.

Since I crossed the Rainbow Bridge
She'll say, "Yes, I'm fine!"
She wants to beg "Please help me.
I can't find that girl of mine!"

Ask my Mom, how is she,
And she'll say, "I'm alright."
If that's the truth then tell me,
Why does she cry at night?

You think you know the feeling,
But this I Know can't be.
For even though I'm just a dog
Boundless was her love for me

She will smile and tell you,
I'll get by, I know I can
But she will turn away and cry
'Cause you just won't understand.

I watch from here, in Heaven.
Her distress disturbs my peace.
Will someone please take care of her,
And help her heartache cease.

They say "Some day you'll feel better."
"Yes I will." she lies.
She knows this will not happen,
Until the day she dies.

She said "I was so lucky!
I had her all those years!"
ButThey passed in just a minute,
Now she sheds so many tears

Ask my Mom how is she,
She'll say, "Thank you. Good."
She cannot tell you how she feels.
Oh, how I wish she could.

Ask my Mom how is she,
"I'm well, I'm good. And you?"
I'll shake my head in Heaven.
It simply isn't true.

She'll love me all her life.
I loved her all of mine.
But if you ask how is she,
She'll lie and say she's fine.

I am here in Heaven.
I cannot hug from here.
If she lies to you, don't listen.
Hug her, hold her near.

On the day she gets to Heaven
I'll be here for her to hold
"You're lucky to get in here, Mom,
With all the lies you told!"

Hugz, Rose

I love reading Rose's poems. She weaves words into a beautiful tapestry of human emotion, that all who read it can relate to.......Sweet, honest, humble and inspired, Rose's poetry is a feast for the famished soul.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

To read more of Rose's work, please visit her website by clicking this link:

Rosebudz & Rainbows

I love you always, Bootsie.....love extends all space and time. YOU are STILL and FOREVER my most precious little girl, and I miss you with all my heart.

Love eternal~Your Paula

Time is Relative

2005-12-09T19:38:00.000-08:00

Each time I glance at the clock, I can tell you where I was and what I was doing at this time one year ago today.

It's 5:50 pm.

At 5:50 pm, December 9th, 2004,

I was praying.

I prayed for my little girl, that God would grant us the miracle of good news after tomorrow mornings operation. I prayed for the blessing of just a little more time with my baby, Boots. I prayed that He would not call her home just yet.......Not now....Not when I needed her here with me so badly.

I prayed with every ounce of faith I had.

My heart was breaking with the pain of knowing that sometimes prayers seem to go unanswered, and sometimes God's Will is not what we pray it to be.

After awhile, I would get into my car, and drive to the vet clinic.

Bootsie was always sharp as a tack, no pulling any wool over those beautiful big brown eyes of hers. She got wise to the med-laced Gerbers baby food being fed to her by the vets at the clinic, and soon was turning her head slowly away from each spoonful. Boots discouraged any further attempts at this trickery by way of a good nip to the hands of the trickster. That was my baby. While others may have frowned upon her as being ill-behaved, I reveled in the joy of knowing that I had one "take-no-crap" little girl. I loved Bootsie's iron-willed determination, even when it hurt.

I would drive to the clinic twice a day to give Boots her meds. I didn't try to trick her into it.....I did it the way we always had: sandwiched inside a tiny pocket of a folded over Velveeta slice. The techs watched as I proffered the meds and Bootsie willingly swallowed it up, quick as a wink.

It was while Bootsie was at the clinic this last time that I noticed something. One of the vets had mentioned to me at an appointment earlier that year that Bootsie had cataracts in her eyes. He said,

"I bet you've seen her walk into furniture, things like that."

I had not. Bootsie had never exhibited any such difficulty navigating around the house or back yard.

I noticed, though, when I walked into the back room of the clinic where all the patients are resting, that maybe the vet was right. Soon as I opened the door, my eyes would immediately go to Bootsie's compartment. If she were awake, I would say,

"Hi BabyGirl! Hi Bootsiebear! I love you precious one~...."

Bootsie's eyes would widen, her ears would perk up at my voice. She would glance over in my direction with a look of such expectant hope....I saw that she was trying to focus on who she hoped was addressing her.....I had to move several feet closer before she could see that it was, indeed, me. You coulds see the recognition flash brilliantly in her eyes and her whole body would wag with joy and happiness.

On the evening of December the 9th, 2004, I drove to the vet clinic. not sure if I should stay overnight there, or if I should go home. I feared that if I stayed, Bootsie might expend too much energy, energy that I wanted her to reserve for the next mornings surgery and the subsequent post-surgical recovery. My decision to go home would later be one I would regret, and I swim in this regret even now, one year to the day.

Bootsie had not wanted to eat those last couple of days.

But she ate for me, and on this night last year, I held Bootsie upright in my arms in a chair that the techs provided for me back with the patients. I had a big bowl of Bootsie's canned food, and she let me handfeed it to her. She hungrily ate up every last bit of her food, and this made her "mama" so proud......

I wish I had stayed there and never left her side that night. Bootsie would never have left my side. I feel like I failed her. I am so sorry, Bootsie. I was so stupid. I should have stayed. I don't think I really believed it was to be my last chance to spend a night with you. Had I known, I would have stayedBootsie! I would never, ever have left you!

I know, I know.....you can't go back and re-write the past, and beating yourself up isn't gonna help anything, and Bootsie wouldn't want you to think about those things....

But you can't help it. When something hurts, it hurts.

I miss you, Bootsie. I'd give anything I have to have you back with me.

GREENIES

2005-11-24T17:24:00.000-08:00

info@greenies.com

November 24, 2005
To whom it may concern:

I have just read an article that was on my local news stations web site about Greenies, and I am NOT happy with what I've learned.

My dog, Bootsie, was my pride and joy. I loved her as much as a good parent loves their human child. Bootsie LOVED Greenies. Feeling they were safe, I allowed her to have them as a treat every few days.

Bootsie had problems with her liver. Because of this, I had to be very careful with everything that she ingested. I had to practice strict control over what she was allowed to eat both at her regular meal times and what she was given as a treat or snack. Giving her the wrong things would mean over-taxing her liver and the progression of deterioration to her liver. Loving her as I did, I did everything I knew to do in order to prevent any damage.

One of the things about Greenies that made me feel comfortable giving them to Bootsie was that the packaging claims Greenies are 100% digestible. The KIRO News stations report, however, says that you're own company spokeswoman stated that Greenies are actually "85% digestible".

I AM FURIOUS BEYOND WORDS AT THIS!

Had I for ONE MOMENT KNOWN that Greenies were not what your own packaging claims them to be, I would NOT have given them to my dog! (But, then, I guess that's your bottom line, isn't it.) To make matters worse, I feel it quite safe to assume that if your spokeswoman says the digestibility is at 85%, that this is a conservative number, and the percentage is more then likely even LOWER.

I do not blame your company or your product for my Bootsie's passing away last December from end stage cirrhosis. HOWEVER, I will never know if my giving Greenies to my dog may have WORSENED her condition and hastened her eventual passing away.

THIS IS UNFORGIVEABLE and UNACCEPTABLE!

Lastly, I am troubled by this portion of the report I read:

"Company officials with Greenies declined a request for an on-camera interview. They sent a statement expressing sadness over all the dogs in the investigation."

The very fact that your company declined an interview leaves me (and probably the majority of consumers) to feel you declined because you have something to hide or because you know you may step into water reaching far over your head if you were interviewed. Face it, people with nothing to hide would not have declined, but rather, would have relished the opportunity to set matters straight.

I will NEVER again recommend Greenies to anyone else, nor will I recommend your company as a whole, due to the fact that dishonesty has been a part of your business plan.

Paula Owens

Everett, Washington

otiamaria@aol.com

The above letter was emailed to Greenies today, and the article I am referring to can be found here:

http://www.kirotv.com/investigations/5325021/detail.html

Or watch the Video Report here:

http://www.kirotv.com/video/5330356/detail.html

Also see the SNOPES page that references this report:

http://www.snopes.com/critters/crusader/greenies.asp

Bootsie's Memorials & Tributes Page

2005-07-02T00:59:00.000-07:00

And now I begin "The List".

Bootsie has been gone from my side for almost seven months now. Although physically not here, she has been a near constant presence in my thoughts and in my heart.

I needed some kind of outlet to help me deal with my grief, and I found that, through the creation of these tributes to my little girl. Whenever the pain in my heart became an ache too intense for me to bare, I would come online and a new page would go up.

Some of these pages are not yet complete.
Some of the memorials are long, while others are quite short.
Some of the pages have guestbooks, and I do hope that you will pause to leave a message for Bootsie and me, even if just to let us know you came by.

My listing here is incomplete......there are many more pages, and I will add them to this list over the course of the next month. ---Paula

Bootsie'sMemorial Tribute at the Washington State Universities Pet Loss Page

Bootsie's Memorial at PetMemoriesOnline

Bootsie's Online Virtual Pet Memorial at Youns.com

Bootsie's Square on the Pet Loss Quilt (click on her name)

Bootsie's Memorial Page at PetAlert.com

Bootsie's Candlelight (Click the twinkling star in the upper right corner)

Bootsie was remembered at the
April 2005 Memorial Candlelighting Ceremony at Canine Epi Guardian Angels,
a wonderful group for guardians of epileptic dogs. I could not attend, since it wasn't held in my state, but I was able to follow the ceremony as it was posted online. It was beautiful, and I am so thankful to the Epi-Guardian Angels for including us.

Bootsie at Heaven's Playground
(Click on Bootsie's name to see her page.)

Here's Bootsie's Dogster Page......
You can visit her and her 64+ dogster friends here.

..........More Soon...............

OUR WICKET! (and a little something for you...)

2005-06-13T11:49:00.000-07:00

This is my adopted Bootsie-Wicket, in Memory of my little girl.

If you would like a Wicket for your webpages, there are many kinds available! Please click the link, below, to visit Ladyoz and request a Wicket! http://www.geocities.com/lorayen/

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Here are some ribbons that I've made. Feel free to take one (or even all) and place them on your webpages and emails. No linkback is needed, but it would be nice if you did link the graphic to an appropriate website where others can learn more about the cause you are representing..





XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Please take this Dove of Peace for your Pages, if you'd like.
It's a gift from Bootsie and I to you:

It's Mission is to sow harmony and peace in a world so often tainted with sorrow and strife.

(((Hugs)))
Paula & Bootsie, (who waits for me, Bridgeside)

Six Months, One Day

2005-06-12T00:39:00.000-07:00

I don't want to abandon "The Bootsie Files" ......Bootsie may not be with me anymore in the physical sense but she is still very much present in my heart, and never far from my thoughts. It's been exactly six months and one day since Bootsie left me. Each day, I 've missed her. I whisper her name into the silent night air, and tell her that I love her. Sometimes I "speak" to her, as though she were still here with me. Am I off the deep end? No. I'm not. I am just that positive that my little girl's soul survives her physical body. Bootsie is in Heaven now. She is with my dad, my Aunt, and my Grandma. My dad holds her and cares for her until that day when I can get there to take care of her myself. The day Bootsie was scheduled for surgery, the morning of December 10, 2004..... I did a lot of praying. I spoke, also, to my dad, in prayer. I remember exactly what I said because I said it over and over and over again: "Dad, if something should happen.....if God has to call Bootsie Home to Heaven, PLEASE, PLEASE take care of her for me until I can get there."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

When I had my reading with Sonya Fitzpatrick,(http://sonyafitzpatrick.com/ ) the very first thing she said to me was this: "Your dad is here. He's holding Bootsie in his arms and he wants me to tell you, "From your arms to mine. He keeps saying this."'.
Oh, did I cry when she said that. I cried big fat tears of relief, when I heard those words.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I am convinced that Bootsie and my dad have contacted me numerous times since they left me. I've described some of the routes that they took to do this in earlier entries here. But there is SO MUCH MORE that I have not mentioned. To write of them all would be equivalent to the creation of a book length manuscript.

I even have some photographs that illustrate quite strongly that Bootsie, my Dad, and a few others come to visit from time to time. I've considered posting them here.....but please understand the reluctance on my part to do so. They are so very personal to me. The internet being what it is, anything posted can become subject to the opinions of anyone who comes along. To be perfectly honest with you, lol, the opinions of those who do not agree with me interest me very little and maybe not at all. On the flip side, however, part of me feels that I SHOULD post at least one photo. It may help someone who needs reassurance about their being an afterlife for their pets. I'm thinking this one over.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

After Bootsie's passing, and before Coco came into my life, I grieved heavily. In order to cope, I went online and posted Memorial Tributes for Bootsie. I will post these for everyone to see shortly. I also created a website for dog owners. You can visit it by clicking this link:

K9 Link Gallery

I hope you'll forgive the disorganization. The website is truly "a work in progress", and I add to it often. In a nutshell, the site consists of links and nothing but links. I am doing my best to include only those websites that I feel are informative, or hard to locate. A broad range of topics is covered, including (but not limited to): Health, Nutrition, Holistic Care, Fun Stuff.......too much to list. Please pay it a visit and let me know what you think.

If there is something that youhad hoped to find but couldn't, just send me an email by clicking on the "Email" link found at the bottom of every page. I will do my best to have at least 3 links for you within a very short time.

Thanks for coming by........stay tuned for a listing of Sites where Bootsie's memorials can be viewed!

(((Hugs)))
Paula

Three Months & Five Days Later

2005-03-20T18:26:00.000-08:00

Part II

Since that time, I've been working my way through this grief. It's been difficult to say the least. I've had what I believe to be communication with Bootsie in the time since her passing.

Right around Christmas, I dreamed of her. It happened like this:

I'd woken up that morning, looked around the room, and pulled the blanket back over my head, angry that I'd lived to see another day without the benefit of Bootsie by my side. (I prayed to die day and night, and you should have heard the "deals" I was willing to strike with God. I explained to HIM (lol) the following: "We both know that this week, there's going to be alot of people that die, in my city alone! Many of them don't know it's coming! They have marriages, children, good jobs, homes.....and if given the choice, they would NOT want to die! Well, here's my idea: Let ME take the place of one of them. I'm willing, ready and able. You took from me all I had left in the world. Let me go be with Bootsie, and spare someone else their life."

As you can see, God was in no mood to bargain. I pulled the covers back over my head that morning. Sleep was an escape from my painful reality. Immediately, I feel back asleep and right away began dreaming. It was an odd dream...I dreamed that I had not fallen back asleep, but got up like I normally would have. I went into the kitchen to get a frappucino from the fridge, like I've done every morning for the last 3 years.

Halfway in, I stopped dead in my tracks: There, sniffing at her food and water bowl, was Bootsie. She turned around and looked up at me as if she'd never been gone. I gasped and said incredulously, "OmG, Bootsie it's YOU!" I picked her up, hugged her, and held her away a few inches so I could look at her. It was the best dream. Bootsie was so white and so fluffy and she looked just like she did when she was a puppy. It was unbelievable. I was so happy, I can't even begin to tell you. I NEEDED that dream. I had been asking Bootsie to come to me somehow......give me some kind of sign she was okay..but knowing Bootsie as I do, I wanted to make sure she knew that if she COULDN'T, that was ok,too, and not to worry. 3 days later that dream came.

Every night since that dream, I prayed for another. Nothing came though.

Days turned into weeks, a month, two months. I found that I am a very capable actress when I need to be. I've been able to mask my grief with a cheerful voice, and smile although on the inside, I feel nothing. I've went out and put on a play called "normalacy" , then when safely back inside these 4 walls, fallen apart and cried until my nose was too stuffed up to breathe.

I began to fret about other things: a leash that I had looked for since before Bootsie was even sick, but never could find.....Even though I have lots of Bootsie pics, I soon discovered that a lot was not enough, and that I was stupid for not taking many, many more...........If you've ever called my house phone, you know that Bootsie is who you hear giving the outgoing greeting. I've no plans to remove that. In fact, I've sat here in this house and used my cell phone to call and hear her. (I've even left her messages). I used a small handheld digital recorder to tape Bootsie "talking", and what you hear on my voicemail is only a small portion of her conversation that I recorded. But what did I do with that recording? I couldn'tfind it, and that upset me. I made the recording about 2 years ago.

2 weeks ago, I had to go out and run some errands. As always, I beat a hasty path back home with the car soon as I finished. I parked in the driveway and made my way through the garage. I stopped midway to the door that leads to the kitchen. There, right in the middle of my way, on the ground, laid that leash. I was shocked at this. I bent down and picked it up, turning it over in my hands to make sure it was "THE" leash I had looked high and low for. It was. And how it came to be right in the center of where I was walking was beyond me. I feel it could only be from Bootsie, something to help me feel better.

Just then, Jason pulled in, and I set the leash down on top of a box to go out and talk to him. He didn't stay long, only a few minutes. He'd brought a pizza over for me and my mom. I took the pizza and again made my way back inside the garage. Again, I stopped, because there, in the same place the leash had been, was a dark blue vinyl pencil case, cylinder shaped, with a zippered top. It laid smack dab in the middle of the path to the kitchen door, right where I would trip over it. I set the pizza down and picked up the pencil case. There was a lot of stuff in it. When I pulled the zipper open, the first thing my eyes saw was a handheld Olympus digital voice recorder. OmG, THIS was what I used to RECORD BOOTS that day 2 years back.

I took it in the house, lay the pizza on the kitchen counter and went in the living room. I was too nervous. I very carefully laid the recorder on the coffee table and just STARED at it. If this recorder had been in the garage that whole time, it had been exposed to extreme temperatures. If that wasn't enough, there was also the fact that the batteries had to have long since been sapped of their strength. After 10 minutes of staring, I picked it up and pressed the play button. And there was my girl. My Bootsie's sweet little voice came singing out to me for a full 5 minutes. I sat here and cried as I listened to her. There was also a "bonus track" on the recorder.. something I'd long since forgotten even existed. One night a long time ago, Bootsie was laying beside me on the sofa, sleeping. Every once in a while, Bootsie would snore while she slept, and this night was one of those nights. Trying to keep my laughter down, I held the recorder close as I dared to her mouth and recorded her snoring until she woke up and gave me a dirty look, lol. It was there still, and I cried and laughed at the same time. How was it that I should have had those 2 things in my mind at that time, feeling upset about them, and then suddenly they both show up in the way that they did. It could only have been my Bootsie,. possibly with the help of my dad. There's no other explanation.

It didn't stop there though. There was one more surprise awaiting me. Later that night, I was looking for something (cannot remember now what), and as a last resort decided to check the closet by the front door. I was pretty sure it was futile to look, but I looked anyhow. I never did find what I was looking for. But I spied something else on the top shelf that caught my interest: A stack of about a dozen or so photographs. I carried them to the sofa and was overjoyed to see that they were all pics of Bootsie! These were photos taken when she was a baby, only 6 months to a year or 2 old. I knew of them, but had entirely forgotten about them. In a way, they were like newly discovered treasures, since I hadn't seen them in years. I cried some more, lol. I went through each one, smiling and crying, until I was down to the last photo in the stack. When my eyes came to rest on it, it literally took my breath away. It was a photo of my Bootsie, in the kitchen, looking up at me. And it was the exact image of her that I had in my dream. EXACT. It was as if someone had taken that part of my dream and caused it to freeze on Kodak paper. When I caught my breath I think I cried another two hours. Let me tell you, those 3 incidences, taken seperately .....maybe I could have explained them away as being interesting, happy coincidences. But all in one day, and all addressing specific issues that had been cause for my tears over the past few weeks? It could only be my Bootsie, once again, doing all she could do to make me feel better. I thanked her over and over and am still thanking her (and my dad who I'm sure helped her). This is the moment of my dream, frozen in time:

I LOVE YOU, BOOTSIE!

Three Months & Five Days Later.....

2005-03-15T10:52:00.000-08:00

PART I

When I lost Bootsie, I really went downhill, even to the point of going back on Paxil. (I didn't continue with that though, because I couldn't find the patience for its' side effects).

Every day and night I've cried for Boots. I've avoided driving my car as much as possible. It was just too painful. Bootsie was always with me in the car, and she so loved accompanying me on even the shortest drives.

About 2 weeks after I lost Bootsie, her ashes were delivered back to the vets. I asked Jason to take me to get her, and he said ""OK, let me just watch the end of my movie and we'll go." I told HIM, "Forget it, then. My Bootsie's spent ENOUGH time in a clinic that she hated to be in! I'm getting her NOW." With that, I was off. When I drove home with her, I could hardly see the road through my tears. Here I was, taking this final drive with my baby. Instead of Bootsie standing in my lap with her little face out the window- eyes squinting into the wind, then bopping back into the car and doing a little dance in the passenger seat, she lay still and silent in a pine box. The weight of the box containing her was so very small in comparison to Bootsie's 14.5 pound body. The realization of all of this was almost more than I could bare.

It took me until the day of my birthday to break the tape on the cardboard box and remove the pinebox that was inside. The urn itself is not sealed. The lid has 2 hinges at the back, allowing it to be lifted up at the front. Initially, I was upset about this. Now I am not. You see, I was never given a choice as to what my Bootsie would be placed in. This is such a personal thing, and I don't like the dark brown pine box she lays in now. It's a rectangular shape......too strong a resemblance to a coffin. I want a square shaped, light colored wood holder, that I can have personalized just for her. In this, I am glad that the box is hinged. I am scared to death to look inside. I never have yet. When I do get a new holder. I will have to transfer Bootsie to it, and it's at that time that I will have to cope with the transformation.

After that drive home with Bootsie, my car was garaged. I told Jason "I don't want to drive anymore." And I meant it. I garaged my car, and only took it out when absolutely necessary. Even then, I would avoid it as much as I could.

Bootsie left me on December 10th, and since that time, I have not been able to look out into the backyard. I've had the drapes closed since that day. I did force myself to peek out of the curtains once.....that was last week. The first time my eyes has seen that yard in over 2 months. I could only manage to do it for about 5 seconds. You see, that was BOOTSIE'S backyard. I always told her that, She loved it so much back there.

Every night, I've cried. I've blamed God, I've blamed myself, I've blamed others. I've felt stinging regrets for times I should've paid my little Boots more attention and didn't, should've read more about her illnesses but hadn't, etc. I have since come to see that of all the blame I tossed around, God didn't deserve any at all. (I've since apologized to Him)! If anything, God was VERY busy helping me and Bootsie, and working behind the scenes in ways I could not imagine.

For example, we scheduled Bootsie for exploratory surgery to make sure that she didn't have a liver tumor, and alsoto remove her gallbladder which we knew was not functioning. When Dr. Woods (our internal med. vet) looked inside Bootsie, his suspicions were confirmed that her gallbladder was in bad shape.... but it was nothing compared to the condition of her liver. My poor Bootsie was in end-stage cirrhosis.

I was dumbfounded. How could this be???? I thought we were on TOP of this! I thought Bootsie was doing so well! To this very day, I still have the recording Bootsie's vet left on my recorder about her last blood test results. She said, (and I can quote from memory), "Her liver levels are still high, but they're down about half from where they were the last time we checked two months ago.... so I'm really very pleased with that! She looks just great and I think she's doing just excellent!" Now, in my mind, I believed that I was doing everything right. I believed that we were on top of this, and that we were monitoring the extent of Bootsie's liver disease very well, and had it under control. I trusted that our vet, Dr. Zakos, would implement liver-specific meds when and if the need should arise. Bootsie was never given any special drugs for her liver, only Milk Thistle, Vitamin E, S.O.D. supplement, and Life Exxtension supplements, plus a prescription diet for liver compromised dogs: Science Diet L/D. So what happened?

From what I understand, the symptoms of end-stage cirrhosis are as follows:

* Loss of appetite

* Wasting away of body

* Ascites (the swollen fluid-filled tummy look)

* Vomiting

* Diarreah (with blood in it)

* Rust colored urine

* Jaundice of the skin and whites of eyes

Bootsie had NONE of this. Her tummy was swollen, but this was while she was in the hospital and I attributed it to the IV fluids. She did not vomit. Had only one bout of diarreah, and that was 2 weeks prior. She ate ravenously for me the night before her surgery, a full bowl of food. Her urine was not rust colored, it was normal. She maintained her ideal body weight of 14.5 pounds for over a year and was in perfect weight. She had not the slightest trace of jaundice. Not even a little. Her skin was pink and beautiful, the whites of her eyes were white, not a trace of yellow.

And yet the vet told me, as he stood in his scrubs, and I sank into a chair, that my Bootsie's liver was completely fibrotic. It was nothing but scar tissue. I cannot explain this. I don't think Dr. Woods realized how this made no sense at all to me. Still does not. The only thing I can think is that God gave us a lesser illness in order for me to discover the worse fate that was waiting to grab and hurt my Bootsie, thereby allowing me to ensure that my Bootsie would not have to know that suffering. He made it so that Bootsie never had to suffer the symptoms of cirrhosis. (I could've looked at Bootsie's liver myself. The vet asked me if I wanted to, and I declined. I had to believe him, because I could not have that image in my head. Bad enough the image of my baby under that green surgical blanket in that brightly lit OR. I had to make a decision for my li'l girl. It took me many long, agonizing minutes, but ultimately, I looked up at Dr. Woods and through my sobbing, I said: "I know that if there was anything at all that you could do to save my little girl, you'd do it. That's why I asked you to come here and be the one to perform this surgery. I NEVER want my Bootsie to suffer. I don't care about ME. But no suffering for her. If you think the best thing I can do for my Bootsie is to let her go, then that's what I have to do. I don't want to, but I will, if it's best for HER." Dr. Woods silently took my hand and held it as he led me back into the OR. I bent over the OR table, stroking Bootsie's fur and telling her that everything was going to be ok. I told her that I loved her. I said all those things that one needs desperately to say before the moment is forever extinguished. During this time, Dr. Woods was working underneath the surgical blanket. He administered the drug that insured my Bootsie's eternal peace.

At the moment my little girls soul was released from her earthly body, I KNEW. I pulled back slightly, searching her small face for any sign of life.....but she was no longer there. I collapsed. Dr. Woods had to catch me, and was kind enough to hold me up.

My Sweet Lil' Bootsie, I Love You, Angel

2004-12-11T16:13:00.000-08:00

I LOVE YOU, Angel-bear!

You are forever my most precious little girl, and my love goes with you, my sweet, precious Bootsie........

My Sweet, Precious little baby Bootsie passed away yesterday, Friday December 10, 2004, at about 2pm.

I love you, Bootsie.......sweetheart, you are my everything...the glue that kept me from falling apart. I don't know how to find any happiness with you gone, and I wish so much, my sweetiebear, that I could go be with you where you are!

Oh angelgirl, I am so, so sorry, honey, I couldn't let you suffer, baby. Your mama loves you with all her heart! Please, please, please send me something, Bootsie, some sign, I need to know that you understand, that you are ok, and that I did right by you!

I am so sorry, baby, for times when I didn't pay you the attention you deserved! I am so, so sorry for yelling at you and calling you "a stupid dog" when you were getting into things you weren't supposed to! I am so sorry for yelling at you when you wouldn't stop barking.............I would give anything in the world, if I could only hear you sing for me again!!! I MISS YOU, and I have no happiness anymore with you gone. I keep praying for God to take me to you, I miss you so much! My heart is shattered into a million pieces, and I don't have my little miracle wrapped in fur to pick up the pieces like you always used to do! No one loved me so much as you did, babybear, no one will ever replace you in my heart, and I don't want another dog....I just want my little girl!

You fought so hard! You were my little tonka tough tonka toy, so brave and courageous! Your spirit was unstoppable and your heart was purer then any gold. You were the reason I had to get up each day, and having you sleeping beside me every night gave me more comfort than I have ever known in my life.

Nothing is the same with you gone, my sweet little one! I don't know if I can do it! I am trying, but I don't want to try, Bootsie, I just don't, I just want to go where you are sweetie, I want to be with you more than anything in the world. I love you so much! You are my HEART! How am I gonna wake up every day and you're not there? You taught me to see the beauty in things I didn't notice before, like a gentle breeze....but Boots, I feel nothing when you aren't here to share it with me! Please, please know that I love you more than anyone or anything in this world. Please know that had there been any way to keep you with me with the assurance that you had painfree and happy days, that I would have done ANYTHING! I would have done ANYTHING Bootsie! I am so so so sorry that I didn't understand liver disease as much as I should have! I HATE myself for that! I will never forgive myself for that! Maybe had I known more or understood better I could have given you more time here with me!

I know you didn't want to leave me, babydoll! I know that you worried about me, always! I remember how you would have that look of concern upon your small, sweet face and how you would paw at my arm, insisting that I lay my hand down so you could go about washing it. When I tried to pull it away, you would force it back down and lay your paw over it to keep it there. Oh Bootsie, I would call you my little MamaBootsina, because this was your way of mothering me and caring for me, trying to wash away all of my sadness! I LOVE YOU FOR IT, BABY! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

I shared with you all of my thoughts, dreams, and fears. I hid nothing from you, Bootsie, you loved me no matter what, and I know that you understood me like no one on this earth could. You taught me what REAL, TRUE LOVE is, little girl. YOU are the most precious thing that has ever and will ever happen to me, and the day you were brought into my life was the day I was given a little Miracle wrapped in fur.

Last summer, you sat out on the back porch with me, and I asked you, "Bootsie-bear...where did you hide the beautiful gossamer wings that you flew downfrom Heaven with?" You never did tell me. But I was always quick to add, "I don't want you putting them on and flying back anytime soon, you stay here with me, ok?"

I have held your collar, the brown leather one with the metal stars on it--been holding it since they slipped it over your head at the vet's office. I can't let it go, Bootsie. I can't. I don't want to let you go! I love you so much, please please understand that I did NOT want to let you go!!! Oh, Bootsie, sweetie, I couldn't allow you to recover from abdominal surgery only to see you suffer and pass on from cirrhosis! I wanted you to be able to go peacefully, sweetbear, I would rather suffer without you then see you struggle to live.....I know that you would fight and fight to live Bootsie, for my sake. You were so selfless. You were such a GOOD little girl! I adore you, Bootsie! You have been my world, and without you here, my world is colorless.

I don't care if other people think that I am "weird" for being as upset as I am over a dog. My Bootsie was NOT "just a dog!" She was LOVED! I LOVED HER EVERY BIT AS MUCH AS IF SHE WERE MY OWN CHILD! Bootsie, you made me laugh, made me mad, made me cry........but most of all, you made me feel safe, you made me feel loved......you gave meaning to my life. Whenever life knocked me a cruel blow, you were ever-loyal, right by my side, ready and willing to take as much of the impact for me as you could in order to lighten my pain.

I remember a time when we were in the driveway, and I didn't have you leashed, (rare). That big dog started making his way over to us, and I was afraid of him. He looked mean. I tried to shoo him away, and YOU, my little girl, YOU looked at that dog and without hesitating, you tore after him and chased him right off the property! You weren't afraid of him one little whit, you were my little heroine again and again!

We didn't always agree sweetheart, on all things at all times. We used to have some pretty heated debates. One I remember, when you felt that you ought to have that whole hoagie sandwhich, and I disagreed. I found it in your little mouth when I walked back into the room, and since you weren't about to let it go, we had a littletug-of-war with it, me holding onto one end, and you the other. I remember how with every tug, you would throw in a little grunt of determined anger, and how when I would pull I would say, "BOOTSIE, let it GO!" If I remember right, the sandwich fell apart and neither one of us got any. But Bootsie, I just want you to know that even though I sometimes got really angry and frustrated with you, I NEVER STOPPED LOVING YOU! You could do something so horrendous, angel, and I would still love you with all my heart! I was sometimes wrong for being angry with you, and I pray that you will forgive me, Bootsie, I need you to forgive me. I love you more then I can possibly express in words.

You are still the love of my life.When you went, my heart went with you. I want to be with you again, Bootsie. I don't know that I can go through this world without you. I feel so old sometimes, and so tired. I told Jason and sissy that should something happen to me someday in the future, that I wouldn't want them to hurt. I would want them to know that I was HAPPY because I am able to go where I'm supposed to be, and that's with YOU.

I don't want to hear those worn and tired out cliches about time making this all less painful. It will not. Bootsie was my life, she was all I had here....all I had that I could always count on! I pray I didn't let you down, bear! I LOVE YOU!!! No one can ever hold a candle to you, my sweet little Bootsie. You will forever hold the title of "most beloved" in my heart, you will always be "my little girl" for all eternity, and until the day when I see you again and am able to bury my face into your fur and hold you, and feel your kisses............I won't be complete. Part of me is gone now, the best part of me is now gone.

I LOVE YOU, ANGEL. ALWAYS.

Love,

your Paula

My Prayer Page for Bootsie

2004-12-07T00:37:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow morning, an internal medicine specialist will be performing an ultrasound on my Bootsie's liver. Please, please pray for her, if you have a candle, please light one for her!

This is my Prayer Page for my FurAngel, Bootsie

In times of crisis, I have always called upon the communion of Angels and Saints, asking them to please rush to help my Bootsie, to act as her Intercessor before God in Heaven. I know that they have never failed to do all they can to help us.

Of course, we venerate St. Francis of Assisi, who is probably the most well-known of all the Patron Saints. He is the Patron Saint of animals.

Many people pray to St. Roch, who is a Patron Saint of Dogs..

      Many people ask the intercession of St. Hubert of Liege,



And some people look to St. Vitus when their dog needs help..

But I, personally, feel a special affinity towards St. Beuno, and I feel very sure that he has come to Bootsie's aid many, many times...


Sometimes when I feel like God doesn't understand what I'm feeling, I think of this picture of Jesus when He prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane. He knew what was coming, and like any one of us, He didn't want to endure such suffering.....yet unlike us, He loved someone other than Himself so much, that He didn't run and hide, but instead He suffered the pain of humiliation and agony. He DOES know what it's like to hurt!

~Some Prayers~

For A Sick Animal:

Heavenly Father,
you created all things for your glory
and made us stewards of this creature.
If it is your will, restore it to health and strength.
Blessed are you, Great Spirit,
and holy is your name for ever and ever.

Amen.

"Author Unknown"
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Prayers for Sick Animals

Healing and transforming God, your love knows no boundaries, and in your sight every life is precious; look with compassion on [name of animal], and make us your agents of healing in a broken world. Amen.

"Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you receive it and you will. And whenever you stand praying, forgive if you have anything against anyone; so that your Father who is in heaven may forgive you." -- Mark 11:24 -25

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The above calling cards were loving crafted by the skilled talent of GranGran:

The Beautiful Animated Candle Graphics that you see on this entry have been Borrowed From: http://www.charlotsweb.com

The 24 Karat Gold Graphics you See were graciously lent from the following website:

WISH I KNEW WHAT'S GOING ON

2004-12-05T11:34:00.000-08:00

Thank you everyone, for keeping me company through this.

I am going to go visit Bootsie today, and thought I would bring some
food in a tupperware and spoonfeed it to her. Thought also that I may
stay awhile, so will bring some crocheting or knitting for when she's
sleeping.

Bootsie:

I spoke with the vet this morning.....this is all so very confusing!
Here's the latest:

* Bootsie is "doing ok"

* Boots ate some food this morning. I asked the vet if she ate enough
to make him happy, and he said "yes".

* Another CBC was done this morning which showed that Bootsie's white
blood cell count has gone up again, and is at 46,000.

* Bootsie's red blood cell count has went down some (I wasn't told
how much, and didn't ask). The vet said that it's possible that this
could be due to the fluids she is getting. Could also be something
else.

* The vet said that they are pretty sure that this in liver-involved.

When I asked the vet to throw some possible diagnosis at me, he said
that they are not sure what's wrong with Bootsie, but he is thinking
it could be one of these 3 possibilities:

1. LIVER DAMAGE AS A RESULT OF LONG TERM PHENO USE. (I have been
telling them ---as I told the doc this morning-- I want Bootsie OFF
this stuff immediately.....she has not had a seizure in a very long
time....I will say it again next time we talk and find out how they
will go about this....from what I know, they are still giving her
pheno in her iv, and I don't like that)...

2. BACTERIAL HEPATITIS

3. LIVER TUMOR (which is something that would not have shown up in
the blood test report from the pathologist. I guess cancer is still
within the realm of possibility).

If any of you can think of questions I should ask the vet, any ideas,
and websites that I would benefit from reading, please, please let me
know because with so much flying around my mind I am having a devil
of a time researching, which I'm normally pretty good at.

Thank you, please don't stop praying for my little girl, she's so
tough, and you can rest assured that she is fighting as best she can,
but prayers are so necessary with this!!

(((hugs)))
Paula & Bootsie

Bootsie Update

2004-12-04T17:34:00.000-08:00

Just heard from the vet.

* Found out that the CBC that was done this morning showed that Bootsie's high bloos count went down from 50,000 to 36,000. (Normal is 17,000).

* Bootsie's temp is now normal, fever is gone..

* Doc got Bootsie to eat a little food.

* Said Bootsie is a little more perky, looking around etc. But also said she's sleeping lots.

* They've only received PART of the blood test results back from the lab......really need to get the rest before we know what is going on.........especially need the pathologists report, which we still do not have. From that, we'll know if there are any abnormal cells in Bootsie's blood. Hoping this report will come in this evening.

Vet said that because Bootsie's temp went down, that she feels that this is a good sign that we may not be dealing with a cancerous condition.

She said she thinks it would be good for both Bootsie and myself that I come down there and visit with her so I am leaving now.

(((Hugs)))

PAula & Boosie

My Lil Girl: Update

2004-12-04T12:34:00.000-08:00

Please continue to pray for my Bootsie, I am having a very hard time dealing with this, and I want nothing except to have her home with me!!!

Here is the latest update.......I took Bootsie to the hospital last night......her little legs were weak and it was becoming more evident that there was something wrong.

They kept her, and she is still there. I MISS HER!!!!!

* Bootsie was running a fever of 104.5, it has since went down one degree. (Normal is about 101).

* A CBC was done. This showed that two of her liver levels have lowered. I would normally be thrilled to hear this, except a vet told me once that this will sometimes happen when the liver is shutting down.

* The CBC also showed that Bootsie's white blood cell count has skyrocketed. Her level is at 50,000. A normal level is 17,000.

* Bootsie has a catheter, she is on an IV...... they are giving her two different antibiotics, I know I am not using the right spelling but the antibiotics being used sound like BETROL and SEPHOXITIN.

* Bootsie is still very lethargic and depressed. I called a few minutes ago.....they said she's sleeping.

I am leaving as soon as I post this for the vets office. I will be picking up Bootsie's blood sample and delivering it to Phoenix Laboratories for testing. (Otherwise I have to wait till tomorrow for the results and I can't do that). The bloodtest results from the lab will offer more of a picture as to what we are looking at here.

Two thoughts that Bootsie's vet thinks are possiblilites are:

1. An internal abscess (or infection)

2. Cancer.

I just want my baby Boots home with me, I just want another year, I justneed more time.

I will post again sometime today as soon as the results come back from the lab.

Pray for my girl.

Love,

Paula & Bootsie

Still Worried About My Girl

2004-12-03T18:39:00.000-08:00

You know, when I started "The Bootsie Files", I had intended to fill it with all of the little antics that Bootsie would fill my days with. I never intended for each entry to be cause for worry and concern. I'm posting another one now, though, full of worry.

They say that a mother-child bond is a very amazing thing.....that a mother can "tell" when something is amiss, even when others cannot. Do you think it can be the same between a person and their dog? I do. I can take one one second glimpse of Bootsie and KNOW wether she is feeling ok or not.

Now, I KNOW that I JUST had her to the vet this past Monday, and the vet felt that there was no immediate reason for alarm. I know, too, that Monday's appointment was one of two that I've taken Bootsie in for in the course of the last 2-3 weeks. But I'm telling you, something isn't right.

I began the day off optimistically, thinking and saying that Bootsie is feeling better, not her best, but on the way to that. As the day grew longer, and as I began to have more time to watch her though, I have to vent this: I feel very much uneasy and upset right now.

See, Bootsie is still not able to hop up on the sofa. She still won't go up the 3 porch steps. But it isn't JUST that. Bootsie has a look about her......a very, very tired look, a look that I am not used to seeing except for when she is very ill. She was very slow to finish her breakfast this morning. Normally she gobbles it up quick-as-you please....this morning she barely managed to finish what she had (although she did).

Bootsie seems to not want to go outside.

She walks with her tail between her legs, her lead low.

Bootsie has not barked once today.

I think she may have been constipated, but she IS started to go again. (Started last night). I am wondering if this might be the problem? I just don't know.....this is a new thing for her.

Right now, Bootsie usually has her supper, but instead, she wanted to sit up on the sofa with me. I picked her up and set her down at my side, and she wiggled as close to me as she could get. She curled up, her head on my leg, and lightly trembled. She stops trembling when I pet her or keep one hand on her, so the typing is slow right now, (lol).

Bootsie just looks so..................old. So old. There is none of the sassiness, the lil spitfire, hell-on-wheels, bark-for-all-your-worth joy that I have always known her for. Not today. I can't stand seeing her looking so drained......just rips me up!

I know that Bootsie has a lot of friends who truly care for her online, and part of me contemplated not adding any of this entry, so as not to upset anyone.

One thing that you should all know about me: this is a VERY very difficult time of year. I don't send out Christmas cards, I don't decorate, nor does a tree go up here. It hasn't in 7 years, not since my dad passed away. I just don't haven't felt "in the spirit of the season". For me, the Christmas lights and tinsel, while they are truly beautiful, still carry with them some very sad memories of 7 years ago. I haven't yet been able to associate the two events as seperate things. Does that make sense?

In many ways, losing my dad effected me deeply, and I suppose that from a psychiatric viewpoint, it left me a tad dysfunctional, lol. I'm more prone to sadness at this time of year...........what I'm trying (not too successfully, I might add) to say is that given the time of year we're in, and given the fact that this time of year reminds me so much of the pain of losing someone I loved so much, I may have a tendency to transfer old fears into new situations. I hope this is the case. I just don't want to upset anyone, I may be making something out of nothing.

Thats all 4 tonight.

We'll cya l8r.

;)

In Loving Memory of My Dad

2004-12-01T17:56:00.000-08:00

In Loving Memory of my Dad, Billy C. Owens May 09, 1933 to December 01, 1997

When Tomorrow Starts Without Me
( David Romano )

When tomorrow starts without me
and I'm not here to see...
If the sun should rise and find your
eyes filled with tears for me,

I wish so much you wouldn't cry
the way you did today...
While thinking of the many things
we didn't get to say.

I know how much you love me,
as much as I love you...
And each time you think of me,
I know you'll miss me, too.

But when tomorrow starts without me,
please try to understand

That Jesus came and called my name
and took me by the hand,

And said my place was ready
in heaven far above...
And that I'd have to leave behind
all those I dearly love.

So when tomorrow starts without me,
don't think we're far apart...
For every time you think of me,
I'm right here in your heart.

Dad
( by Judy Burnette )

Dad...so many images come to mind
whenever I speak your name;
It seems without you in my life
things have never been the same.

What happened to those lazy days
when I was just a child;
When my life was consumed in you
in your love, and in your smile.

What happened to all those times
when I always looked to you;
No matter what happened in my life
you could make my gray skies blue.

Dad, some days I hear your voice
and turn to see your face;
Yet in my turning...it seems
the sound has been erased.

Dad, who will I turn to for answers
when life does not make sense;
Whowill be there to hold me close
when the pieces just don't fit.

Oh, Dad, if I could turn back time
and once more hear your voice;
I'd tell you that out of all the dads
you would still be my choice.

Please always know I love you
and no one can take your place;
Years may come and go
but your memory will never be erased.

Today, Jesus, as You are listening
in your home above;
Would you go and find my dad
and give him all my love.

Amazing Grace

Amazing grace! How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found;
Was blind, but now I see.

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears relieved;
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares,
I have already come;
'Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me,
His word my hope secures;
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess, within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.

The world shall soon dissolve like snow,
The sun refuse to shine;
But God, who called me here below,
Shall be forever mine.

When we've been there ten thousand years,
Bright shining as the sun,
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we'd first begun.

(I LOVE YOU DAD!)

Two poems for my dad,

written by Joyce Kilmer:

Joyce Kilmer - Love's Lantern

Because the road was steep and long .......

And through a dark and lonely land,

God set upon my lips a song
And put a lantern in my hand.
Through miles on weary miles of night That stretch relentless in my way
My lantern burns serene and white, An unexhausted cup of day.
O golden lights and lights like wine, How dim your boasted splendors are.
Behold this little lamp of mine; It is more starlike than a star!

and, of course:

"Trees"

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree.
A tree whose hungry mouth is prest
Against the earth's sweet flowing breast;
A tree that looks at God all day,
And lifts her leafy arms to pray;
A tree that may in Summer wear
A nest of robins in her hair;
Upon whose bosom snow has lain;
Who intimately lives with rain.
Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree

I LOVE YOU, DAD!

Thank You, Lord, for loving me.

Bootsie Update

2004-12-01T11:28:00.000-08:00

ABY BOOTSIE BEAR

(don't let that cuteness fool you, this little angel is TONKA TUFF)!

A HUGE HUGE THANK-YOU goes out to ALL who have been praying for my little girl!!! I cannot even begin to find words that adequately express my gratitude to you for such a caring and selfless act. In a world where the news floods our living rooms with images of war and unrest, sickness, and poverty..........I always try to remember that although these things do exist, there is also much GOOD to be found, and I have only to look toward people like you. that pray for a dog you've never met outside of an electronic journal. When I count my lucky stars, you are among the brightest for me. Thank you!!!

Bootsie has been making up for lost chow time the past 2 days, lol. Every 15 minutes or so she voices "the need for feed", lol! Anyone who has had a pet that lost an appetite from illness knows what a joy it is to watch them enjoying their meals again. This little dog of mine thinks that I am the best darned cook the eating world has ever known, lol.

Today will br the first day that I am not giving her any Amforal to prevent diarreah, and to be honest, I'm a bit nervous about it. Bootsie, for the most part, has been doing much better since seeing the vet on Monday, but there are moments here and there when I feel as though something isn't right.

One thing that I wish I could understand is this: Bootsie still will not jump up onto the sofa to sit with me, nor will she bound up the three porch steps when she comes in from the backyard, as she did before last Sunday. I cannot understand this......(if anyone has an opinion, please share it with me). Last night, Bootsie clearly wanted to get onto the sofa to assume her customary place at my side. She had her front paws up on the sofa, and would lower her back legs and make a "little leap". This really only served to make her seem taller for a split second...never got her anywhere near her target though. She did this over and over and over again.

Now, like anyone else, Bootsie can get downright frustrated when things are not working out as they should. Take for example, the spot that Bootsie chooses to lay down for a nap. It has to be "just so". lol. And if it isn't, she will fret over it until it is! Sometimes, this is not as easy thing! Bootsie will begin by sniffing, then she will do a bit of a circle dance around the spot as she surveys all that needs to be "worked on", then she goes about the business of scratching the site with her paws, as if she were a little chicken, lol. Most times, this solves the issue, and she plops happily down, pleased with the nest she's made. Then there are those days when Bootsie "can't get NO satisfaction" though she tries, and tries, and tries, lol! After awhile, she begins to growl with annoyance as she paws away at the spot.....scratch -growl -scratch- growl....Well, who could keep from laughing at such a thing!?!?!? I have to tell you, it's just not possible for me to keep a straight face when this goes on, lol. Needless to say, Bootsie will stop, look up at me, and give me "a look" as if to say, "Yeah? You think YOU can do any better??" Lol.

But back to the sofa....as I was saying, Bootsie hasn't been able to make it up here, try as she might. And hence we have another dilemma......you see, Bootsie is a dog with an independent spirit. She honestly takes pride in being as self-sufficient as possible. (I would wager a bet that she would use those words to justify her love for garbage scavenging forays....but we won't go there right now, lol). When I try to give lil Bootsie a helping hand and end the struggle, she gets angry! Bootsie is a sweetheart of a dog, but when she feels you deserve a nip or a full fledged bite she'll be sure to reprimand you accordingly, lol. (Can't type that without adding that Bootsie is QUICK with an "I'm-so-sorry-I-love-you-i-love-you-i-love-you" apology, afterwards)!

I do have to pick Bootsie up and carry her outside......(she has a couple of discs in her lower back that are very close to each other, and since I learned of that, I have limited her jumping activity and her running as well. Jumping UP has never been a problem, just jumping down).

I have to walk over halfway toward the patio door and bend over and wait for her, and that's the only way she'll let me pick her up to put her on the sofa. lol. I feel like a quarterback waiting for the football (Bootsie) to get into my hands, lol. It workd for us, though, lol.

At any rate, there's this inability to jump up anymore, and Bootsie has not been acting like she wants to go outside at all, which is HIGHLY unlike her and VERY worrisome to me! She is such a happy dog outside, and this sudden change has me concerned. She seems to walk with a stiffer gait as well.

I am keeping a close watch over her, and will continue to let you all know how Bootsie is doing.

I had hoped to write much more, but I need to stop for now. Today is the 7 year anniversary of my dad's passing. (or it will be in less than an hour). I want to go and light a candle for him now.

Thank you all again SO MUCH!!!

Please rememeber my Bootsie in your prayers today. I will be remembering you in mine and thanking God for you.

(((hugs)))

This beautiful rendering of Bootsie was created for us by our dear friend, Jo, in England. (We LOVE U, Jo)!!

Update on Bootsie

2004-11-29T13:36:00.000-08:00

Bootsie slept right beside me all night long, under the blanket, head on my pillow, lol.

Although she didn't exhibit any direct sickness, I still felt uneasy about her state. We missed the scheduled 10 am appointment with her vet, but I was able to reschedule it and bring her in at noon.

Here's the summary of where we are today:

We don't really know WHY Bootsie was so ill yesterday. It could just be because at Bootsie's age, she will have days where her body just doesn't behave as it should. Since we just had bloodwork done no more than 2 weeks ago, the vet thought it best that we just treat Bootsie symptomatically for now. I was given some Amforal, and just now I added 2.5ml of this to her food (chicken with rice, yummmm)! That will help settle her tummy down and return her stools to a more normal consistency. When they ARE normal again (about a day or two) I can stop giving her the Amforal.

Right now, Bootsie is laying on the floor in front of me, doing that unnerving "staring thing" that she does. Lol, I don't know why she does that, but every once in a while, she will just sit in front of me and STARE! Her eyes will start to droop, and sometimes she falls asleep like that......it's funny, but sure can be unnerving, too!

I am so glad and thankful that she is beginning to feel better, and I'm so hopeful that this will only be a fluke-kind of thing, and not indicative of a bigger problem!

Bootsie has a lot of friends online as well as off, and I am so thankful for all of you who care about my dog! I would be so lost without the support of our friends, all of whom understand how I feel when it comes to Bootsie! Thank you for always being positive and never saying things like, "Well, Bootsie is old...." I appreciate that like you would not ever believe! And for all of the people who pray for Bootsie....I can't begin to tell you how powerful I believe the collective prayers of others are.....I strongly believe that it's because of those prayers that my Bootsie is still with me today, and has come through so many adversities! Our friend, Br. Adrian, has always been quick to pray for my Bootsie's intentions, and I am most grateful to him for that! Believe me, this past Thanksgiving, we had many, many blessings to count and be thankful for, and each of you were among the top of the list!

I will write more to update you all as soon as I can.

(((hugs)))

Paula & Bootsie

PS..You should've seen Bootsie this morning. She has a little pink fleece scarf, whipstitched on the sides with frayed ends and a Christmas tree embroidered on it, a matching fleece cap for her head-(which has a tassle above each ear), and little pink fleece mittens for her paws, lol! It's a whole winter ensemble! (She only wore the scarf to the vets, lol).

I bought her the cutest little coat a couple days ago....here's an exact pic of it:

Unfortunately, it's a size too big! She needed a small, and this is a medium. But it sure is cute!!! And it's warm too! Fleece lined, lol!

Animal Blessing Ceremony

2004-11-29T01:03:00.000-08:00

Here are a couple of photos from the Animal Blessing Ceremony that Bootsie and I attended! I am SO GLAD that we were able to go to this!! Seems that we remember too late every year!

This was held at the United Methodist Church of Edmonds, WA.

In the first pic, you see Bootsie scampering up the hillside toward where all the other dogs (cats, too)! were gathered together with their owners.

And this is Bootsie and I before we left:

Please Pray 4 My Girl

2004-11-28T22:45:00.000-08:00

Please pray for Bootsie......she's been sick since this morning, and I don't really understand why. I just had her in at the vets office for her blood test, to check where her liver enzyme levels are (she has liver disease). I always dread these tests, fearing that I will be returned results that spell out something I really cannot take. I was happily surprised though: her test results came back with one level still high (but no higher), and one that was high last time had went down. This was wonderful news!

But this morning, Bootsie woke up sick. I took her out to go potty, and she had a bout of diarreah...her stomach has been cramping up so badly that she literally shakes from it. I hold my arms out to her and she literally sinks into them and goes limp as she shakes, needing me to support her. When this wave of cramping run through her, she can't even walk. I watched her fall a few times while she was sick out in the backyard.

I called the vet right away this morning after she was first sick. I was told the standard directions of: withholding food for the next 12 hours, and then if her stools begin to seem like they are returning to normal I can give her small amounts of bland food (chicken with rice, oatmeal, cottage cheese).

Thing of it is: I needed something to help her feel better, NOW. I asked if I could give her some Pepto, and they said I could. Being a 14.5 lb dog, Bootsie can have a pediatric dose, which is 1/3 of a caplet, or 1 tsp.

Well, poor Bootsie, she wanted no part of ANYTHING going into her little mouth, and as sick as she felt, she wanted no arguement about it. I tried to quickly pop that 1/3 pill in there, and she promptly spit it out. So then I tried to half "toss" the pill in there, to which I recieved a good chomp to my finger, lol. (It's a little funny now, but it hurt than. Bootsie meant business about wanting no meds, lol.

Had to outsmart her, and that's not easily done. I took the pill and smashed it to powder, then dissolved that in 1/4 cup water to which I added a splash of that ever-helpful chicken broth.

That did the trick. Bootsie drank it all up, and soon after she stopped shaking and had herself a nap up next to me on the sofa.

At 5:00 pm, we repeated the whole process, with Bootsie being ill. It's heart wrenching for me anytime Bootsie hurts....and believe me, with each one, I pray to God to not let this be "the one".......you know what I mean? Not going to spell it out, because that feels too much like I am tempting the fates.

Anyway, I brought Bootsie back in after round 2 and carried her to the sofa. She sat next to me, shaking, so I put my arms around her and held her.....she just kind of leaned into my arms and wanted me to hold her up. When she finally let me lay her down, her brown eyes looked so tired...she layed there with her eyes closed. If I tried to move back into a sitting position, her eyes would open up and she'd get a worried look, as if to say, "No..hey! Where are you going?"

Lol, back down I went. And back Bootsie went to closing her eyes.

I am so scared about her getting dehydrated. I know that it's all too easy for a dog to get that way when it has diarreah or vomiting. Plus if they have to be hospitalized, any dehydration makes the pet take that much longer to recover.

This was a problem, because now, even my chicken water wasn't tempting her. I went in the kitchen and took a little silver gravy ladle from the utensil drawer. Looks an awful lot like a deeper version of a soup spoon, but I'm pretty sure it's for gravy boats.

It was the only way I could get Bootsie to take in any water: I had to spoonfeed it to her, lol.

I did call the vet a second time. I asked if I could redose the Pepto, and was told "no".

Well, guess what?

I did anyway. I thought it over first, weighing the pros and cons as I saw them:

Give her the Pepto~

PROS: SHe will feel better and this cramping in her tummy will go away and give her some rest and relief.

I will feel better when Bootsie feels better.

CONS:

She does have liver disease, and meds are not a big plus there....

But what settled it in my mind was this:

If I didn't do SOMETHING to help her, there is no doubt in my mind that we would be going to the emergency vet right then and there. Once there, Bootsie would go through a lot of poking and prodding by a vet that while I am sure is well-qualified, is one that Boots has only seen once. They would without a doubt keep her for more testing and observation.

I'm telling you, no way is she better observed then she is right here at home under the watchful eye of yours truly.

In the end, they would HAVE to administer something to control the diarreah.

Bootsie HATES staying there.(No offense at all to the clinic and staff.....it has nothing to do with them, Boots is just happier and more at peace when she's home).

So. Here it is. It's now 10:43pm.

Bootsie is feeling better. She is searching every corner of the house for a crumb of anything to eat because the poor little thing is now famished. I relented and gave her a small spoonful of cottage cheese. (By the way....strange thing about cottage cheese...I only like Darigold brand, but sometimes it tastes, well, WEIRD. At other times, it tastes "right". Lol. Everytime I open a new package I test it out, and if it's good, I tell Bootsie it came from a "happy cow", lol. Which leads me to this..Does cottage cheese come from cows? Lol)!

Bootsie is trotting about barking.....I better go see what mischief she's getting up to. Say a prayer that she will stay feeling better....

Paula & Bootsie

2004-11-16T17:40:00.000-08:00

Gone to the Dogs: a new British comedy film
Click the link marked "game" to find out what kind of dog you are.

Super Model Dog: Bootsie!

2004-10-27T17:39:00.000-07:00

As some of you know, Bootsie is no stranger to the camera. I am proud to announce that Boots is once again basking in the spotlight's warm glow, lol!

Please click the link to be taken to Bootsie's latest publicity shots!

Dogs of the Wonderful NW!

Scroll through the slideshow until you see Bootsie! She is in the middle. Not only is she seen once, but TWICE! lol!

(I know, I know......I'm being boastful, and pride is not very becoming on anyone....but I can't help myself! I'm like a proud stagemom! lol)!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It occured to me that I don't have Bootsie's other "claim to canine fame" listed in her journal!

Several months back, I entered Bootsie in a contest at the Deramaxx website. The contest was in preparation for Pet Arthritis Awareness Month. I submitted some pics and a short essay on why Bootsie is a "Deramaxx Dog". The dogs that were chosen were featured on a mosaic that appeared on billboards all across the United States of America!! Bootsie made it onto the billboard, lol!

This is the pic that made it in:

Here is the Mosaic that she was part of. We were sent this as a full-size poster (suitable for framing, lol)!

Can you find her? Lol, I'm being a brat. I know you can't, lol. Here's the mosaic "in action"! This first pic shows the billboard up on the Hyatt Regency Hotel on the Sunset Strip,Los Angeles, CA Here's the billboard in Times Square, NYC: And here it is again, in Dallas, TX: Have you found her yet? Lol. She's just below and to the left of the left eye (your left, not the dog's left), in about the vicinity where a tear might fall from an eye. Here's a close up :

How You Can Help Pets In Need!!

2004-10-22T22:09:00.000-07:00

Those of you who pay visits to Bootsie's online journal are without a doubt fond of pets in general! If you could help a pet in need every single day, wouldn't you want to do it? How about if I said that you could, and it would only cost about 1 minute of your time? Would you be further enticed if I assured you that your help would cost you nothing in the way of money?

Sounds pretty good, eh?

Well, you CAN help in this way! By clicking the links below, you will be transported to websites where you can help to feed a pet and provide it healthcare at absolutely no cost to you! In fact, you would in no way be obligating yourself to a single thing! Just click, and voila! You have fulfilled your mission!

I have been visiting these sites on a daily basis for sometime now. I found a very easy way to remember "my click", too! I added the sites onto my AOL Toolbar. I gave them both the kitty-cat icons, and labeled them as "FeedMe" and "FeedMeToo", lol! One of the sites even allows you to keep track of how many pets your clicks are helping!

I hope you'll embrace this easy manner of helping pets in need, and that you'll make a daily click at these sites. Please refer your friends so that they can participate, too!

Thanks!!!!

Links to Sites on Senior Dog Care

2004-10-22T21:50:00.000-07:00

This December 15th will be Bootsie's 15th Birthday! I'm so happy that she is doing as well as she is! Most people who meet Bootsie think she's a puppy! Bootsie, however, is what's referred to as an "elder-dog", and as such, has special needs that a younger dog need not be concerned about. The past year has found me researching some of the more particular needs of senior dogs online, and I am compiling this list of links as a reference to anyone who may need them. If you know of someone with an elder-dog, please send them a link to this page!

If you find these links helpful, please remember to check back often because I will be adding to this catalog of links.

General Senior Dog Care

The Senior Dogs Project

The Aging Process in Dogs & How We Can Help

Caring For An Older Dog

Behavior Therapy for Older Dogs

Senior Care

A Senior Dogs Forum for Owners

Senior Wellness For Dogs

When Is My Dog A "Senior"?

Comprehensive Site for Geriatric Dog Care!

Signals of Silver

Sites About Arthritis and Senior Dogs

The Pet Arthritis Resource Center

Hearing Impairment in Dogs

Living With A Hearing Impaired Dog

Hearing Assessment In Dogs & Cats

Training Tips For Hearing Impaired Dogs

Poetry

2004-10-10T11:55:00.000-07:00

These are sooooo sad. Please read them when you feel emotionally strong enough to.

"I Loved You Best"

Viewer Viewpoint - Veterinary Medicine - "The Conferring of Souls" copyright Jim Willis 2001

2004-10-04T19:22:00.000-07:00

This website has some good info on canine epilepsy.

Epilepsy and Seizures Table of Contents - Canine Epilepsy Guardian Angels

NOTICE and UPDATE

2004-10-01T20:23:00.000-07:00

UPDATE:

Bootsie is doing sooooo much better!!!!!!!

She has been barking like a little beasty, wanting more and more food, and she's been running around like a puppy out "her" backyard. I finally cracked a smile this afternoon!

Bootsie does things sometimes that crack me up. I cite the antics of late this afternoon to illustrate that point:

Bootsie was barking-barking-barking-barking-barking.....now to the majority of people, this would be intolerable. Given the high pitched tone of Bootsie's voice and the "dogged" determination with which she uses it to command attention, it truly can feel like it's piercing right through your head. IT HURTS!! Lol! Bootsie was making up for some lost time today, and was "singing" at the top of her little lungs. I sat here watching her, and-I admit it- encouraging her, because after worrying as much as I had been, that voice was like music to my ears. And then it happened....

Sometimes, Bootsie will be barking along, and somehow, she emits a bark SO loud that she scares herself! I swear, she jumps about a foot in the air and then runs to me, tail between her legs, lol! My words don't come close to doing the humour of it all justice.

I'M JUST SO GLAD THAT SHE'S FEELING BETTER.

NOW FOR THE NOTICE:

The Feast Day of St. Francis of Assisi is this Sunday, October the 3rd. (I think). It's in honor to St. Francis, Patron Saint of Animals, that many churches hold a "Blessing of the Animals" ceremony. I'm hoping to take Bootsie to one of these. They are being held tomorrow and on Sunday. I say that I'm HOPING because I can't find any local churches holding this ceremony, and will likely have to drive into Seattle.

Bootsie wears a Saint Francis medal, and I never take it off of her, except for the time it takes for her to be groomed. She's had it on her collar for the last 6 years. About 5 years ago, Bootsie became extremely ill, and I had to rush her to the emergency vet. Before I could go there, though, I had to stop at the Roman Catholic church my mom attends and pick her up. I saw the priest standing outside and talking to some of the parisioners as they left the church, and waited patiently until the crowd around him thinned. Then I made my move, lol. I got out of the car, cradling Bootsie, and asked him to bless Bootsie and to also bless her St. Francis Medal. He did, but I have to tell you, I thought he looked at me like I'd lost my mind, lol.

I feel that St. Francis (and the Communion of Angels & Saints) have been there for my Bootsie en force. There have been times when Bootsie has been so ill, that people from as far away as the Netherlands were praying for her. I can't even begin to express what it means to me whenever anyone sees fit to offer up a prayer for my Bootsie. I don't need "fancy praying"....I think if someone just thinks in their heart and mind, "Please, God, make Bootsie feel better"....well, that, to me, is a prayer~and I'm happy for all of them.

Here are some links, in honor of the Patron Saint of animals, St. Francis of Assisi.

to learn about St. Francis, click this link~

http://www.dlshq.org/saints/francis.htm

Here are links to some prayers, and a novena that can be said to St. Francis:

Virtual Novena to Saint Francis of Assisi

Prayer For Animals

Patron Saints of Dogs:

Patron Saints Index: Saint Roch

Images of Saint Francis of Assisi:

Beach Baby Boots!

2004-10-01T12:00:00.000-07:00

Some pics of our outing to the beach, taken about a month ago.

Whatever you want to call her, DON'T call Boots a backseat driver, lol! Bootsie wants to feel the wind blowing through her fur! I risked life, limb, and insursance rate increase to get this shot, lol!

Here's Bootsie at the beach! She's marveling at a seagull that's flying past....

Sissy made this for us! (Thank, sis)! She likes this photo a lot, and I like the Bootsie portion if it, but not my allergy looking face, lol! (They were BAD that day)!

Here's a photo that I played around with using one of those photo editor software programs. It's me. I look like I'm jaundiced, lol. Kinda looks like I'm looking through the door to hell, doesn't it? lol!

Same Day, Second Update

2004-10-01T10:20:00.000-07:00

Just got off the phone with Bootsie's vet.

She says that Bootsie sounds like she still has some irritation in her digestive system. I'm to keep her diet bland, (chicken with rice), and if she is able to keep the food down, I can re-introduce her back onto her regular diet (Hill's L/D) tomorrow evening.

If Bootsie doesn't hold her food down, though, I have to bring her in to be looked at.

I keep giving her 3 cc's of Amforal until the bottle's been depleted.

That's really all the vet could tell me without seeing Bootsie in her office. I am glad to have talked to her though, as it goes far towards relieving some of the anxiety I feel.

Right now, Bootsie is back up on the sofa. She's laying along side of my upper leg, curled toward me, sleeping.

SAME DAY/THIRD UPDATE

Just wanted to say that it's now 12:02 pm PST, and I am starting to feel better, because BOOTSIE is seeming to feel better. THANK GOD!!!!!!

I took her outside and she was scampering all over the yard, exploring every little thing. Her tail was wagging and she was doing more running then she was anything else. We went for a walk, but not too long, since I didn't want her to overdo it.

She's taking another nap now. Her tummy is making some noises. I hope that stops soon, too.

Bootsie Still Feeling Poorly

2004-10-01T08:26:00.000-07:00

My baby Boots still isn't feeling herself. She slept through the night after having had a so-so day yesterday, and this morning woke me up trying to vomit.

The only way I know to get this med in her is to mix it in with her food. The alternative is to wrestle with her to get the syringe in her mouth and then force the stuff toward her throat. I can't do that. But mix it in food? When she wants to throw up? I decided to try. I mixed it in, and then I got up to make her some more oatmeal. Just seeing me in the kitchen is sometimes enough to get her mind off of not feeling well. Seemed to work. The minutes ticked by and the meds stayed down. I was able to spoon-feed her some of the oatmeal, and I did it real slowly, so as to keep her mind occupied on getting more oatmeal, and not on her tummy, which was making noises and hurting her.

She's touch and go. She's trembling slightly, so I know she is still hurting. I've called the vet and am waiting for a return phonecall. The vet told me at out appt on Wed. that if Boots were to throw up today that he definitly wanted to see her in the office.

I don't want her to be sick. I don't want to take her to the vet because if I do I know I will be leaving her there with them, and I HATE doing that.

Last night when I turned the lights off and layed down, Bootsie ws right beside me. She couldn't sleep, though. She sat up, for a long time. I kept opening my eyes to see what she was doing. She just sat there and watched me. She looked concerned. When I would open my eyes she would lick my cheek. I didn't like any of this. I layed there and just cried. I couldn't help but think that the concern in her face was because she might know something that I am so unable to accept right now.

Now that I'm crying again, I will sign off on this entry.

Boots is sitting beside me right now on the sofa, but she keeps looking at the patio door and growling. That, at least, is good.

I keep trying to remember my best friend telling me to "be tough", that I am tougher than this. Am I?Sissie doesn't lie, true that. But I sure am not feeling tough. I feel like no bigger wuss ever walked the earth then me, when it comes to my feelings about my babydog Boots.

Bye 4 now~ Say a little prayer for Bootsie, please.

Update

2004-09-30T12:00:00.000-07:00

WoW. Bootsie wanted to go out and try to potty every 15 minutes last night. The things we do for the dogs we love, lol. You should've seen me out there, trailing behind her in the dark with a little penlight in hand so I could inspect what was exiting her backdoor. I'm sure we made for quite a sight! Finally, around 1:30 or 2 am, Bootsie let me fall asleep, and she slept, too, sharing my pillow the entire night.

Bootsie had her breakfast this morning, with the 3cc's of Amforal mixed into it. She gobbled it down, had some water, and then it was potty time. I'm not even going to go into describing what her "potty" is consisting of these last 2 days. Makes me a bit queasy just to think about it, lol! I will simply say that things should return to normal by tomorrow or the next day at the latest.

I phoned the vet tech at the clinic to give them an update about 10 minutes ago. After hearing my report, she said that the things that I was concerned about are common after administering an enema, and that from what I'd said, everything appeared to be going according to plan and she should be feeling much better by tomorrow.

I hope so. I HATE seeing her feel badly. I'd so much rather it were me than her.

I've declared this house a Q-Tip free zone. No Q-Tips shall ever pass through these halls again, lol. (Do you think I;m kidding? I'm not, lol)!

Bootsie and the Q-Tips

2004-09-30T00:56:00.000-07:00

This morning did not start off on a positive note. I woke up about 8:00 am, to find that Bootsie was not at her customary place: sharing my pillow atop the bed. She had hopped down and was on the floor a few feet away, and had thrown up. This would make the 3rd time this week.

I got up padded over to the kitchen to grab up the necessary supplies: paper towels, trashcan, carpet cleaner. It didn't take long for me to see for myself what had brought on this bout of illness in my little Bootsie.

There, in her throw-up, were 3 Q-Tips. Three!! Whole!!

Now, Bootsie has always had a bit of a Q-Tip fetish. No one knows why she is so fond of q-tips, but then, Bootsie IS a bit of an unusual little dog, lol. Ever since she was a puppy, we have had to watch her that she doesn't grab hold of a stray q-tip. Whenever the opportunity would present itself, Bootsie would take them to her "super secret hiding place" (under the table or behind the sofa). Once there in her private little sanctuary, she would commence to eat the cotton tips from the ends. Just the tips, mind you.

Apparently, Bootsie had discovered recently that the whole enchilada was every bit as tasty as the cotton swab ends were.

I withheld Bootsie's breakfast, knowing that the vet would tell me that this was the first step to take. I did worry about the possibility of their being MORE q-tips wandering about inside my little dog, and the possibility of her suffering a perforated bowel from one. But there was no blood in her throw-up or in her #2, so I decided that she was probably alright. I gave her a half a carafate tablet and her pheno. The game of "wait/see/observe/ and worry" had begun.

I could tell that her little tummy was hurting her. Whenever Bootsie doesn't feel well, she trembles, walks with her tail tucked between her legs, and walks off to be by herself. Her sides will take on a "sucked in" look. This morning, she displayed all these things. I think about 20 more minutes passed before she began to look like she felt better.

Bootsie slept under my watchful eye on the sofa, and I could hear her little tummy gurgling and rumbling.

She got up and retched but nothing was produced. Enough was enough. I phoned the vet and told them we were coming down straight away.

Once there, I asked the vet to x-ray Bootsie. An x-ray would not be able to reveal an obstruction if one existed, but it would help give us clues as to what was happening and lead us to a solution.

When the vet came back with the x-rays, he showed me that Bootsie's tummy and intestines were irritated. In a normal x-ray, one would have difficulty seeing the wall of those two organs. But I could clearly see them in these. They appeared as thickened white oulines. Also, Bootsie was constipated, and you could see that as well.

We had two options. One, I could keep Bootsie at the vets where they would give her an enema and something akin to barium. They would start her on an IV to ensure proper hydration, and they would observe her. The main reason for doing this, was in case there could be another q-tip inside her that was causing problems.

My second option was to let the vet give her an enema, and then bring her home with some meds and instructions. I chose this. I hate being away from Bootsie, and I think that she hates it also.

So, here is where things sit as of now: Bootsie has meds to take for her tummy. I am encouraging her to drink as much water as possible, and she's doing wonderfully there: already drank 1 and a 1/2 cups (vet said he'd be happy with 1 cup per day). She is allowed to eat bland food like oatmeal. And I will be inspecting everything she produces when she goes potty.

And Bootsie is going potty quite a bit. In just the last hour, she's barked at me in such a way as if to say, "Let's go NOW! This is URGENT!" I think we've "answered the call" at least 7 times in the last hour. It's dark outside now, so I go out with her, a penlight in hand, lol.

The vet said if she throws up again tonight it's not TOO worrisome, but if she throws up tomorrow he wants me to bring her back in.

So, please say a small prayer for Bootsie that she'll be ok. I know that God listens to prayers for her, because I've been witness to Him answering such prayers. I can honestly say that I would rather have God take the discomfort from Bootsie and give it to me, because I would happily take it and spare Bootsie any hurt.

I feel that her not feeling good is my fault, since I should've done something to prevent her from getting into Q-Tips. But for the life of me, I am baffled about it all. For one thing, where she found 3 Q-Tips. I don't leave them out where she can get hold of them. Secondly, I am with Bootsie 24/7. We're always together. When in the world did she hunt the q-tips up, AND manage to devoutr them, without my seeing!? I cannot figure this one out at all.

One good thing: I thought that Bootsie would be hellbent on eating some grass because her tummy feels poorly. I don't like her doing that to begin with, but I especially don't like that now. We have a large quantity of mushrooms growing in our backyard, and the bulk of them happen to be 'shrooms........the hallucinogenic variety......last thing we need is Bootsie munching down a few of those with her mouthful of grass, and then having her turn around and think that I am a living, walking Q-Tip or something. Lol.

Please say a prayer for Bootsie. Doesn't have to be something long or fancy. I think she'll be ok, but I can't help but worry about her.

2004-09-13T18:14:00.000-07:00

Canine Liver Disease and Diet

2004-09-12T13:37:00.000-07:00

Drugs & Medications for Dogs - forms, storage, dosage, administration, uses, side effects, contraindications, toxicities and..
The Natural Canine: Epilepsy
Alternative Health Hints -- The Aging Process in Dogs and How We Can Help
Pyrangel Rescue Network's Caring For Pets
Care Credit - patient payment plan client dental healthcare LASIK and vision financing
The Nikki Hospice Foundation for Pets
Guide to Diseases, Herbs, Nutraceuticals and Animal Care
Dalmatian Club of America - Anti Epileptic Drugs
Alternative medicines,Herbal medicines,Herbal products,Herbal care,Natural herbal remedies,Himalaya herbal healthcare,Liv.52,..
Please title this page. (Page 10)

2004-09-12T10:39:00.000-07:00

Canine and Feline Liver Disease: An Overview
AVOIDING DRUG INDUCED LIVER DISEASES
Chronic Liver Disease,Cirrhosis of the Liver,Canine Liver Disease,Cirrosis of the Liver,Cholestatic Liver Disease,Congenital ..
Canine liver disease | dog liver treatment
Yahoo! Groups : canineliver-d
The District of Columbia Academy of Veterinary Medicine
Canine Epilepsy-reading laboratory results
A Guide to Canine Liver Disease
Liver Diseases - UPCMedicalDirectory
Free Download Hope For Healing Canine Liver Disease
Liver Disease in Dogs
Antiepileptic Drugs and the Liver
Treatment of Liver Disease in Dogs
Whole Dog Journal is the monthly guide to natural dog care and training.
A typical blood chemistry panel usually includes
Epilepsy and Seizures Table of Contents - Canine Epilepsy Guardian Angels
Links to some of the best canine nutrition & diet articles on the net!

2004-09-12T10:38:00.000-07:00

Canine and Feline Liver Disease: An Overview

I Just Love My Dog.

2004-09-07T16:52:00.000-07:00

An excellent source of info on canine liver disease can be found here: Liver Disease

Ah-ah-ah-achooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!

2004-08-11T14:07:00.000-07:00

Before you read further, please know that Bootsie is FINE. She sure did scare the heck out of me, though!!

This morning started as most mornings here do. I sat on the sofa slugging down a lot of caffeine. Bootsie was laying peacefully in front of me on the floor. She looked so cute! She had her little paws out in front of her, and she was cleaning and inspecting them very intently.

Quite unepectedly, Bootsie stood up, and began to do something that I have seen her do many times throughout her life. I had heard of something called a "reverse sneeze" and believed this came closest to describing what I had witnessed her doing.This time, however, was different. It didn't stop, and seemed to continue on and on. I couldn't understand it. From my perspective, it looked like Bootsie was choking. This was so much more severe than any other reverse sneezing episode I'd seen before. Her little body seemed to struggle to inhale. It was as though she were trying to gag, throw-up, and breathe, and finding it impossible to do any of the three.

I scooped Bootsie up in my arms, and honest to God, I ran to the car with her and tore out of here to get to the vet.

I made pretty good time, getting there in less than 10 minutes, (but that's to be expected when you're going 50 down a 35 mph street with your hazard lights on)! I still had Boots in my arms, and I had my window rolled all the way down. The air hitting her face seemed to help, and by the time we were about halfway there, the episode seemed to have passed. I could've turned around and drove back, but thought I had better have her checked anyway.

Thankfully, this morning was not the typically busy morning at the vets, and we were seen immediately.

Here's what the vet and I suspect happened:

Before Boots had laid down to clean her front paws, she had been outside running around in the backyard. The yard maintenance crew had been here (at an unGodly early hour, I might add) and the grass was freshly mown.

We think that Bootsie had probably inhaled a few blades of grass that had been stuck to her paws while she cleaned them. Also, Bootsie has an elongated soft palate (upper part of mouth), and this contributes to her having more trouble breathing when a reverse sneezing episode comes on. There's also a slight possibility that Bootsie may have been having a petite mal seizure.

The vet checked Bootsie's sinuses to make sure that she didn't have a blade of grass lodged up there, but it looked fine. He checked her heart amd temp, and they were within the normal range. Eyes and ears were checked, too. I learned that Bootsie has cataracts in both her eyes. The vet wanted to know if I'd noticed Bootsie stumbling into things when she walks, but truly, she has not. She seems to see perfectly well, and this surprised him. (I have to read up on this, because I don't know a lot about cataracts in dogs). As for Bootsie's ears, lol, well, they had some wax inside, so Boots got to go in the back and get a inner ear wash! lol! (For those of you who have tried doing this to clean your own ears, you know what it feels like, lol! Poor Boots)!

I took my wet-eared Bootsie home, and now here we are, trying to relax!

Here's a link about reverse sneezing in dogs. Have a look at it. It's pretty interesting.

Linus & Lucy's Playground

2004-08-08T22:58:00.000-07:00

Little known fact: dogs CAN be licensed to drive, lol!

pet drivers license

More Little Flowers!

2004-08-07T19:55:00.000-07:00

Meet some of Bootsie's friends!

This is Riata and Cassie, from the Lone Star State! (Texas, of course)! These two are absolutely an inseperable pair, and dear to my and Bootsie's heart!

Next up is lil' baby Nico! Isn't he a sweetheart?! Baby Nico hails from the state of New Jersey. This urban-pup may be small in stature and young of age, but don't be fooled! This lil boy is "hell on wheels", up for any challenge! (Nico reminds Boots a bit of herself at his age)!

Now HERE'S a fun bunch of pals! These buddies are way over on the east coast, too, in the beautiful state of Penna! Meet Tobi, Lexi,and Sissy! (Not pictured but just as loved: Skyler, Buttons and Kaycee, aka Shyanne)! These fur-pals are affectionately known as "the troops"!

Lil' Nico isn't the only pal Bootsie has in Jersey! Meet Gunther and Zoey! These two fur-angels are the most loveable pair! Gunther, like Bootsie, also is no stranger to seizures, but he has a wonderful vet who has him feeling every bit as good as you see that he looks!! Hooray!!

Everything's Comin' Up Bootsie!

2004-08-07T17:17:00.000-07:00

"Bloomin' Bootsie's!"

Little flower, but if I could understand, what you are, root and all in all, I should know what God and man is.
- Tennyson

In friendship's fragrant garden,
There are flowers of every hue.
Each with its own fair beauty
And its gift of joy for you.
- Friendship's Garden

None can have a healthy love for flowers
unless he loves the wild ones.
- Forbes Watson

Who would have thought it possible that a tiny little flower
could preoccupy a person so completely that there simply
wasn't room for any other thought....
- Sophie Scholl

In joy or sadness, flowers are our constant friends.
- Kozuko Okakura

Where flowers bloom so does hope.
- Lady Bird Johnson, Public Roads: Where Flowers Bloom

People from a planet without flowers would think we must be mad with joy the whole time to have such things about us. ~Iris Murdoch, A Fairly Honourable Defeat

Flowers... are a proud assertion that a ray of beauty outvalues all the utilities of the world. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson, 1844

When you have only two pennies left in the world, buy a loaf of bread with one, and a lily with the other. ~Chinese Proverb

Bread feeds the body, indeed, but flowers feed also the soul. ~The Koran

Can we conceive what humanity would be if it did not know the flowers? ~Maurice Maeterlinck

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. ~Hal Borland, Sundial of the Seasons, 1964

Be like the flower, turn your faces to the sun.
- Kahlil Gibran

In this world
we walk on the roof of hell
gazing at flowers.
- Issa

Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful;
they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul.
- Luther Burbank

What a desolate place would be a world without flowers. It would be a face
without a smile; a feast without a welcome. Are not flowers the stars
of the earth? Are not our stars the flowers of heaven?
- Clara L. Balfour

The love of flowers is really the best teacher
of how to grow and understand them.
- Max Schling

When at last I took the time to look into the heart
of a flower, it opened up a whole new world; a world
where every country walk would be an adventure,
where every garden would become an enchanted one.
- Princess Grace of Monaco

and lastly,

Just living is not enough ...
One must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower.
- Hans Christian Anderson

Dog Health Links

2004-07-23T18:17:00.000-07:00

The following are links that relate directly to canine epilepsy and liver disease.

http://www.canine-epilepsy.com/Resources.html

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/canineliver-d/

More links to be added, as I find them or learn of them, so please check back from time to time.

WONDERFUL E-BOOK!

2004-07-23T09:36:00.000-07:00

I wanted to let you know about an excellent e-book that I have discovered online. It's called

"Hope For Healing: Liver Disease In Your Dog", and is written by Cyndi Smasal.

I have scoured the internet in search of such a book, only to come up emptyhanded. Until now, a book covering this subject has never been written. Most articles on canine liver disease seem to center upon the viral form of the illness, almost completely ignoring the type of liver disease that can be induced my meds.

If you or someone you know has a dog suffering from liver disease, please visit the website that I am providing below. From that site, you can read more about this books content, and how you can obtain a copy. If nothing else, for just an e-mailed request, you can obtain a link to download a free pre-release version of this book.

Please check it out. The info it contains is invaluable.

Here's the link:

http://www.hopeforhealing.com/

My Best Friend, Boots

2004-07-23T09:16:00.000-07:00

I'm worried about Bootsie. She has been seizure free for months and months, and I had done a good job convincing myself that the seizures she experienced all her life had somehow ceased to be. I was wrong.

In the past 3 weeks, Bootsie has had 3 seizures. The last one occurred last night at about 11:30. The prior 2 had been so mild that unless you know what it is, you may not even recognize them for what they are. Last nights was more severe. It began as Bootsie's seizures always do, with Bootsie bolting up to her paws and making a mad dash to get to me, her little legs crumbling beneath her, refusing to cooperate. I dropped what I was doing, (in this case, I think I was playing a game on Pogo), and I went straight to her, cradling her head in my hand and laying beside her. I always keep our faces very close to each other because Bootsie gets scared if she can't see me. I laid on the floor with her like this, talking her through it, and noticing that this seizure was more severe than the last. Her little muscles contracted painfully, her eyes took on a glazed look, and her brow furrowed as if in deep, worried concentration. By minute two, when the seizure had still retained a grip over my dog, I began to pray. These prayers are not the type that are beautifully spiritual and poetic in quality. They are more frantic words of pleading said in as much of a controlled tone as I can muster so as not to let Bootsie realize my mounting anxiety. I pray to God. I pray to St. Francis of Assissi, I pray to the entire Communion of Angels and Saints, begging them to help my Bootsie, I pray to God harder, and I beg my dad to beg God to help us.

Now into minute three, I grab my cell phone from where it lays abandoned on the sofa and hit the speed dial number to the emergency vet.

I never know what to do at moments such as these. When it comes to watching someone you love have a seizure, every second feels like an eternity. By three minutes, you begin to fear that there will be no end to it, and you begin asking yourself, "Is this the seizure that is going to do irreperable neurological damage? Is this the one that send me flying down the street with my dog seizing in my lap as I drive?"

Sometimes, the emergency vet cannot do much but say, "We're here, we're open, bring her in." And this is exactly what was told to me. Before I'd even disconnected from the call, though, thank God, Bootsie's seizure finally began to subside.

She laid there on the floor very still. Experience has shown me that Bootsie needs at least 10 minutes of "quiet time", where she can just lie still and recover a bit. I lay beside her throughout, because if I get up, she will try to get up also.

Boots somehow manages to give my face and hands kisses in the midst of these seizures. Her gratitude for my presence only increases once the seizure ends. I kind of gauge how long we should remain resting by the intensity with which she shows her affection to me!

It's the next morning now, and I am about to call her regular veterinarian and let her know what happened. I'm nervous. Bootsie already takes 1 1/2 tabs phenobarbitol two times a day. It's because of our having to medicate these seizures that she has liver disease in the first place. If this seizing continues, we will have to add potassium bromide to her cocktail of daily meds, and I am loathe to do it. The vet agreed with me last Friday, that we would assume a "wait and see" approach, only adding in the PB if it were absoltely necessary. Any extra chemical that enters my Bootsie's little body has to be processed by the liver, and most any chemical is going to be more taxing on her already compromised liver. It's a situation that I cannot win. I either give her the drugs that damage her liver to control these seizures, or I forego them, spare her liver, and risk the damage possible from unchecked seizing. What can I do??????

Some people may find it unusual to care about and love an animal as much as I love my Bootsie. I know that I cannot keep her forever. I also know how blessed I am that God brought her into my life. Trust me, I have thanked God every single day for this beautiful little present wrapped in fur. I think that it's by the Grace of God that Bootsie, given all her medical problems these past 6 years, is today 14.5 years old and in all, amazingly healthy despite the epilepsy and liver disease. I often reflect that there HAS to be a God, and he obviously knows how much I need Bootsie. Boots has been by my side through the worst times of my life. She knows exactly what my moods are, and she is a "mothering" little dog when I am upset.

I know that I cannot keep her here with me forever, and that a day is coming when I will have to let her go home to God, where she will wait for me, ever faithful to me on that celestial plane as she has been to me here on this imperfect earthly one. The very idea of it....going through a day without my Bootsie, it's one that I cannot think of without crying. I honestly do not know how I will deal with that. I am more bonded to my dog then to anyone I know or have known (besides my dad, who I lost to cancer in 1997). If I allow myself to think about a life without my Bootsie, I'm overtaken by feelings of utter loneliness and despair.

There are some people, my mom and Jason, in particular, who have been telling me from time to time that I will have to let her go someday. Do they think that I do not know this? Of course I know this. Normally I just nod my head in silent agreement and change the subject. Only this past month, their remarks have illicited a different reaction from me. I've noticed that the past few times they brought this up, I reacted explosively, almost violently. I told them to "just shut the hell up, and get away from me". I'm not sure why I am reacting this way...I know that they mean well. But I just do not want to hear it from them. Maybe because they could not possibly know what it feels like to love deeply and suffer the loss of that love. I honestly believe that.

Well, I just phoned the vet, Dr. Zakos. She is in the office today, for which I am SO THANKFUL!! She will be returning my call at the first chance she gets.

Bootsie goes to Diamond Veterinary Clinic, here in Everett. I am telling you, she has the very best doctors! I so completely trust their expertise. They truly go about their job of healing and keeping animals well because they LOVE animals. I couldn't take her someplace where that wasn't the case. Each of the vets and clinicians at this practice knows Bootsie well, and they all care about her. I am so thankful for them. They understand my deep feelings and concerns for Bootsie. Whenever Bootsie has required hospitalization, they have welcomed my phonecalls that come every 2 hours to ask how she is and what she is doing. Never once have they ever made me feel that I was a bother or an imposition on their time. And they have always made time for me, even in the midst of their most hectic and emergency-heavy days. I've never felt that I could not ask questions, even if it was the same question I've already asked. What a wonderful group of people they are, and I wish that all pet owners could enjoy such a relationship with their local vet clicnics.

I will let you know what happens after I hear from the doc. Right now, Bootsie has hopped up onto the sofa beside me for a nap, and I am going off to play Pogo.

Bye for now.

'm mad...wait a sec..O Beautiful Dog!

2004-06-04T10:07:00.000-07:00

Now, who in their right mind can look at this portrait and say that dog's don't smile?!

Having a professionally rendered portrait of Bootsie has long been a dream of mine, and now I have made it a reality! I am so happy with it!

I began to seriously go about the task of searching for a highly skilled artist, and this was a quest that went on for months. Then I came across the web site of an artist living in Wales, by name of Melanie Phillips, and I was astounded by her talent.

Please visit her website at:

http://www.pet-portraitartist.com/index.htm

You will see exactly what I mean when you stroll through the Gallery of Pet Portraits! If you'd like, you can view Bootsie there, and see how her portrait progressed in stages! Just click on the "Galleries" link at the bottom of the page, then click the "Dog" portrait gallery link. Bootsie's portrait progression is found in Dog Portrait Gallery Six.

I think you will agree, Melanie Phillips is talented beyond measure!

Who Doesn't Love A Hoagie!?!?!??!?!?

2004-05-17T12:54:00.000-07:00

The Boots is doing well, she's up to her tricks, though! Yesterday I came home from running errands, and had a hoagie that I brought back for lunch. Well, stupid me, I got up to do something real quick, and accidentally left the bag that my sandwich was in on the coffee table. Whenever I do this, I will suddenly have this alarm bell ringing in my head, blaring out "ALERT! ALERT! YOU HAVE LEFT YOUR FOOD IN PROXIMITY TO THE DOG!" and this sends me running from whatever I'd been doing! Sure enough, yesterday I came running back into the living room to find the little rugrat with a hoagie sandwich clamped firmly between her teeth! We had ourselves a little battle of the wills as we played tug of war with this sandwich, Boots growling, and me yelling "let -it-GO, BOOTSIE!" I won in the end, and just as you'd imagine, Boots went under the table to pout for an hour or so!

My lil Bootsie's Health Troubles

2004-05-17T12:17:00.000-07:00

"THE BOOTSIE FILES"

The first malady to befall little Bootsie was in 1998. She'd gone in for a dental cleaning, and while there, the vet felt a lump under her skin on her chest by her front leg. It turned out to be a mast cell tumor, which is a pretty aggressive cancer. We had her operated on to remove it, and thankfully, have not had any problem with tumors ever since.

Then about a year later, Boots wasn't feeling well...for three days she would hardly touch her food. The final straw came when I took her out in the backyard to "do her business". As I stood on the porch watching her, she looked up at me and fell over in a faint. Off we went to the emergency clinic. They did test after test, and couldn't figure out what was wrong. We finally brought Bootsie to an internal medicine vet, and after keeping her another week, diagnosed the problem as a defective spleen. (It's actually uncommon for a dog's spleen to just "go bad" for no apparent reason). Little Boots underwent a splenectomy, and got much better.

Boots has had seizures since she was a puppy, but they weren't bad enough or frequent enough to medicate her for them. After the splenectomy, that changed! She began having seizures that were longer, more frequent, and more painful. Then they began to come in clusters. She was put on phenobarbitol to control the seizures. THIS caused her to gain about 4 pounds, which is ALOT on such a little dog! Look for yourself! Pretty chubby, eh!? Bootsie developed arthritis, which was even worse with the extra weight. We put her on a strict low-fat prescription diet, which she is still on today.

Fast forward two years. I sat up all night with a sick little Boots...she was throwing up hourly. Took her back to the vet, where more tests were done. She was diagnosed with two different things: Hyperlipodemia, which is almost exclusive to schnauzers, and means that their is a high amount of fat in her blood because her body can't process fat very well. But the second diagnosis was the worst: Bootsie has liver disease. The vet believes it was brought on by the meds I have to give her to control seizures, so there's not a lot I can do about it. At the time of the diagnosis two years ago, they gave Bootsie one year life expectancy. Well, I'm sooooooo happy to say that she's a year past that now, and she's doing great!

I've even managed to get her weight back down closer to where it should be, and her arthritis is much better. I give her milkthistle in her food every morning, as well as two other holistic supplements, and I also give her 200 iu's of Vitamin E every other day. If Boots gets into the garbage, it's almost a guarentee that she will wind up back in the vet clinic for an overnighter with a catheter and all that other un-fun stuff! It just kills me whenever I have to leave her there. I cry until she's home again, and I call the vet every two hours wanting updates! What a brave and courageous little dog Bootsie is. Next to her, I look like such a complete wuss!!

"Bootsie Meets Santa & The Evil Elf"

2004-05-13T22:18:00.000-07:00

It was the holiday season, and our local newspaper was running an ad that said, "Get your pet's photo taken with Santa Paws at the Alderwood Mall".

On the appointed day, I arrived with Bootsie to the mall, and was dismayed to find myself in the back of a seemingly endless line. There were people from all walks of life with all variety of pets ahead of me. Boots and I stood in this line for a good 45 minutes.

Finally, we made it to the front. A small woman, dressed head to toe as an elf, came walking toward us, and I obediently handed Bootsie over to her as she requested. She stood there, this elf, holding my dog....perhaps holding her a bit too tight, and in the next instant, Bootsie had seen fit to pee all down the front of the elfs clothing. Now, the elf--a look of abject disgust clearly etched onto her elfish face, stood there holding Bootsie out at arms length, and did in fact carry her in this manner all the way over to Santa Paws. "Watch out," she warned him, "She's a pee-er."

Santa Paws, a bit on the overly confident side, took li'l Boots onto his lap, and Bootsie proceeded to "give him what for" and bit his gloved Santa hand. So unlike her!! Immediately filled with remorse, Bootsie struggled in Santa Paws lap, trying her darndest to reach up and give Santa Paws an "I'm sorry I chomped you" apology kiss on the cheek. Boots wiggled this way. Boots wiggled that way. She squirmed and squirmed, growing increasingly frustrated that Santa Paws was not accomodating her wish to apologize. While this "battle of the wills" was being waged, the photographer was frantically trying to grab Bootsie's attention w/ a squeaky toy. The elf stood off to the side, arms folded across her soaking wet chest, scowling and shaking her head in disapproval.

And then suddenly, Bootsie paused briefly in her struggles to turn and give the photographer (who was apparently annoying her) her best "mad dog" face, and in that instant the flash of the flash bulb illuminated a Kodak moment. With the flash came the sound of cheers and applauds from every person in that huge line and other curious onlookers. I tell you, I didn't know wether to laugh or to cry!

About a week later, I got a letter in the mail from Santa Paws' photographer. It said that the roll of film which had the pic of Bootsie on it had been defective, and they expressed their sincerest apologies.

(If you ask me & Bootsie, though, we think it's the handiwork of one miffed little elf!)

This is a true story. Just wanted to share it w/you all, and I hope you enjoyed reading it, as I always enjoy recalling this memory!

(Oh yes, Bootsie still has a penchant to pee in this inappropriate way, should the mood strike her! Whenever anyone comes over to our house, the first thing that comes out of my mouth is usually, "Don't greet the dog. Don't touch the dog. In fact, please do not even look at the dog." She gets too excited if they greet her w/ any enthusiasm matching her own! (Think, "Oh Boy-Oh Boy-Oh Boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..........Uh-Oh.")!
Sometimes she will roll over onto her back. Some people say this is what a dog does to display it's submissiveness....I, however, think that Bootsie just wants a comfortable position in which to gaze up and get a good view of our visitor! And should she get all revved up and happy in this position.....well...need I say more!?
Lol, bath time!

Seizures

2004-05-13T21:45:00.000-07:00

First....a note from Paula~Bootsie's owner/best friend, about something that Bootsie and I have grown all too familiar with: seizures in dogs. You may have a dog who seizes, or know someone who does. We just want to tell you that you are not alone in this. My little Bootsie has seizures, too. She's 13 years old, and she has had seizures since she was a baby. For the first 4 years or so, I wasn't aware what they were. They seemed to occur about every three months or so. Whenever 3 months would go by, I'd start to think, "Oh dear, she's due..." Initially our vet did not find it necessary to begin medicating, but in time, that would change.
When Bootsie has a seizure, she will leap to her paws and make a mad dash for whereever I am, her little legs collapsing beneath her the whole way, as she will lose control of them. Once I am at her side, she will lay there and shiver uncontrollably as if she's freezing. This lasted about a minute or so, then ended. About five years ago, however, the seizures grew worse both in strength and in duration. In addition to the violent shivering, her little leg would contort quite painfully, and her mouth would open in a grimace of pain, sometimes she'd whimper. The seizures would last about three minutes. It was at this point that we began medicating.

I give Bootsie Phenobarbitol to control seizures. Another option is Potassium Bromide. There are pros and cons to both. (I will try to go into this in depth in a future entry, or at least provide some links that cover this issue).

Now, this is what you should do when your dog begins seizing:

* Go to your dog and sit beside him/her. I know it's real scary to watch these seizures when they are happening, but it's very important that you try to remain calm, as your dog will need this. Talk her through the seizure, using a calm, reassuring, and soft voice. Try to remember that your dog cannot control what is happening. It is my opinion that the seizures scare and confuse the dog, so they really need your support. Tell her it will be ok, say a quiet prayer out loud, and keep reassuring her much as a mother would try to soothe a crying baby.

* Try to keep some throw pillows in the room you spend the most time in. When your dog begins to sieze, place some of these pillows around each side of her. This can help prevent her from hurting herself should she knock into furniture, etc.

* If possible, have someone dim the lights, and turn down any background noise. It will help her to focus more on your voice if you can do this.
* Make sure that you sit down with your family and educate them about what seizures are. Also share with them the steps that should be taken should a seizure occur in their presence. By doing this, everyone will be prepared, and the chaos will be further reduced.
* Keep a clock in the room you spend the most time in, and make sure it's readily visible from a variety of locations within that room. Try to make a note of the time that the seizure begins so that you can record its duration. Seizures seem so awfully long when they are occuring.
If possible buy an inexpensive stopwatch (most major sporting goods stores carry them for less than $10). These are really helpful to use in timing the length of a seizure.

* Keep a journal of your dog's seizure activity. You can use any small notebook. In this you want to record the following information:

+ The day/date
+ Location where seizure occurs
+ The actual time the seizure occurs (7:00 PM, for example)
+ How long the seizure lasts
+ A description of the seizure (try to include as much detail as possible)

I would also include:

+ Circumstances prior to the seizure (for example, was your dog sleeping? Was there any arguing going on in the house? etc.)

+ Record information about how your dog acts after a seizure. Again, be as specific as you can.

I keep one of these journals for Bootsie, and it's been an invaluable tool. I bring it with me when Bootsie goes to the vet,and this way all the information is right there.You can also use it to write down any questions that you don't want to forget to ask when you see the vet. One more thing that may help is to write down the vet's office telephone number as well as the number to the nearest 24-hr emergency vet clinic inside the front cover. Underneath this, you may want to write down your vets instructions regarding what type of seizure would dicatate an immediate trip to the vets office.

Something else I'd like to mention: sometimes dogs know when a seizure is about to happen well in advance. Try to pay attention to any variances in your dog's behaviour. Bootsie knows about 3 days before a seizure strikes. She will stick to me like glue! Anywhere that I am, she has to be right there with me, and physically touching me. Your dog might do something similar. I hope this helps!