Still Worried About My Girl

You know, when I started "The Bootsie Files", I had intended to fill it with all of the little antics that Bootsie would fill my days with. I never intended for each entry to be cause for worry and concern. I'm posting another one now, though, full of worry.

They say that a mother-child bond is a very amazing thing.....that a mother can "tell" when something is amiss, even when others cannot. Do you think it can be the same between a person and their dog? I do. I can take one one second glimpse of Bootsie and KNOW wether she is feeling ok or not.

Now, I KNOW that I JUST had her to the vet this past Monday, and the vet felt that there was no immediate reason for alarm. I know, too, that Monday's appointment was one of two that I've taken Bootsie in for in the course of the last 2-3 weeks. But I'm telling you, something isn't right.

I began the day off optimistically, thinking and saying that Bootsie is feeling better, not her best, but on the way to that. As the day grew longer, and as I began to have more time to watch her though, I have to vent this: I feel very much uneasy and upset right now.

See, Bootsie is still not able to hop up on the sofa. She still won't go up the 3 porch steps. But it isn't JUST that. Bootsie has a look about her......a very, very tired look, a look that I am not used to seeing except for when she is very ill. She was very slow to finish her breakfast this morning. Normally she gobbles it up quick-as-you please....this morning she barely managed to finish what she had (although she did).

Bootsie seems to not want to go outside.

She walks with her tail between her legs, her lead low.

Bootsie has not barked once today.

I think she may have been constipated, but she IS started to go again. (Started last night). I am wondering if this might be the problem? I just don't know.....this is a new thing for her.

Right now, Bootsie usually has her supper, but instead, she wanted to sit up on the sofa with me. I picked her up and set her down at my side, and she wiggled as close to me as she could get. She curled up, her head on my leg, and lightly trembled. She stops trembling when I pet her or keep one hand on her, so the typing is slow right now, (lol).

Bootsie just looks so..................old. So old. There is none of the sassiness, the lil spitfire, hell-on-wheels, bark-for-all-your-worth joy that I have always known her for. Not today. I can't stand seeing her looking so drained......just rips me up!

I know that Bootsie has a lot of friends who truly care for her online, and part of me contemplated not adding any of this entry, so as not to upset anyone.

One thing that you should all know about me: this is a VERY very difficult time of year. I don't send out Christmas cards, I don't decorate, nor does a tree go up here. It hasn't in 7 years, not since my dad passed away. I just don't haven't felt "in the spirit of the season". For me, the Christmas lights and tinsel, while they are truly beautiful, still carry with them some very sad memories of 7 years ago. I haven't yet been able to associate the two events as seperate things. Does that make sense?

In many ways, losing my dad effected me deeply, and I suppose that from a psychiatric viewpoint, it left me a tad dysfunctional, lol. I'm more prone to sadness at this time of year...........what I'm trying (not too successfully, I might add) to say is that given the time of year we're in, and given the fact that this time of year reminds me so much of the pain of losing someone I loved so much, I may have a tendency to transfer old fears into new situations. I hope this is the case. I just don't want to upset anyone, I may be making something out of nothing.

 

Thats all 4 tonight.

We'll cya l8r.

;)